Is that horse dead? Honey, call the police

We used to have one that said "the brown horse is very old and thus sleeps and farts a lot like old mammals do". After the cops and vet were called because the horse either looked "death" or "having collic".

Okay, so the fact that the horses are killing someone should not matter

At first I thought this was a request that the horses don't call 911 and that they lay down instead

My horse is "being neglected" when he, after I have spent half an hour grooming him mind you, has gotten out in the rain and dirtied himself in a puddle of water

That lol was so nessescary

Oh man. I have a friend who has horses, one was sorta skinny bc of age. The local animal rescue had to come out bc of calls so many times.
.
Horses do lie down, they don't get REM sleep when sleeping standing. Its only worrying when they lie down for very long period of time.