Also accurate:
Top, what she said.
Bottom, what was expected to be understood.
Another reason I don't date or it wouldn't last should something bizarrely miraculous happen.
I have zero patience anymore for cryptic nonsense or bullshit innuendo. You got something to say? Fucking come out and say it. None of this what I said/what I ment bullshit. Just fucking say what you mean in the first damned place.
That's me when I date. I don't like word games. You want something from me? Ask. If I think my man looks good he'll hear it. Communication is key to a relationship.
I don't think it's fair to classify it all as mind games Smitty- though to be sure some women (and some men) do set out to be intentionally cryptic or manipulative. For the most part though, I think women are conditioned to trade more in emotional and verbal nuance- while men are allowed to remain ignorant as to the subtle implications of what they say. Don't assume that a woman is being passive aggressive or intentionally confusing when she doesn't follow your prefered communication style. Likely she believes she is being perfectly forthwright.
And that's fine. I'm not so cynical an asshole to believe that it's always intentional, but it DOES happen and I don't like it. I've been on the recieving end and it's infuriating.
LIke I said, it's a reason that I don't actively pursue dating. I may be a private person, but I'm not a total shut in. I like people and women are pretty rad, I enjoy their company. But to be honest, taking it beyond even acquaintance makes me nervous. In the past I have reacted poorly to relationship pet peave quirkiness.
That's a side of me that I'd like to not see again.
Those of you keeping score at home might call bullshit. Well, I may not pursue it, but I also thought I wouldn't run away from it either. I recently thought I saw an opportunity, but only hurt myself in the process. Six months on, I'm now returning to an even keeled chill middle ground again.
To be fair, a lot of the gap between what's said and what's understood is that women are under the impression the men they're talking to understand subtleties in their language. Since other women usually
understand us perfectly clearly, we say what we mean and expect we've been understood. If we're not understood, we expect there to be a question. When there is no question, we believe what we said was clear enough that there are no questions.
Bingo. Girls are raised to think through the *implications* of what they said - i.e., if I say something, and five logical steps down the line it insults my aunt, my mom's gonna tan my backside. And then guys get pissed at us for thinking through what *they* say and getting mad at the implied insult to a friend, or just our intelligence. God knows my mate got mad at me for insisting he thought through what he said in the first two years of our marriage, but he's gotta admit, he stopped getting blackballed for promotions after that...
Top, what she said.
Bottom, what was expected to be understood.
Another reason I don't date or it wouldn't last should something bizarrely miraculous happen.
I have zero patience anymore for cryptic nonsense or bullshit innuendo. You got something to say? Fucking come out and say it. None of this what I said/what I ment bullshit. Just fucking say what you mean in the first damned place.
LIke I said, it's a reason that I don't actively pursue dating. I may be a private person, but I'm not a total shut in. I like people and women are pretty rad, I enjoy their company. But to be honest, taking it beyond even acquaintance makes me nervous. In the past I have reacted poorly to relationship pet peave quirkiness.
That's a side of me that I'd like to not see again.
Those of you keeping score at home might call bullshit. Well, I may not pursue it, but I also thought I wouldn't run away from it either. I recently thought I saw an opportunity, but only hurt myself in the process. Six months on, I'm now returning to an even keeled chill middle ground again.
understand us perfectly clearly, we say what we mean and expect we've been understood. If we're not understood, we expect there to be a question. When there is no question, we believe what we said was clear enough that there are no questions.