What a nice young man!

I would hope you wouldn't do that.

The suicide note thing. I would hope that you don't do that.

I think everyone should at least write one note. It's an interesting experience for sure. Just be sure to rip it to shreds AND soak the pieces in water afterwards. They could be a bit difficult to explain.

I wrote one mentally. Then moved on as fast as possible.

I have to stop trying to be happy. Sure, I may feel good for a day or two, but then something will happen that reminds me that my life sucks and I'll fall lower than ever before. On the short term it looks like I'm getting better, but I'm really just getting worse and worse. I've actively tried to get out of this pit of mine, but it never works. I've yet to meet anybody who vaguely understands even a fraction of all my thoughts.

I'm essentially a failed sociopath and it's fucking with my life. I have so many problems with empathy that my morality is so different than everyone else's that I just can't form any relationships. I tried being happy by myself and it worked until I met other people and realized just how lonely I was. I tried to be close to someone who was happy, my little christian, but that only made me feel worse. I even tried talking to someone I knew I used to get along with, the pagan from a few weeks ago, but it only made me feel even worse as I saw just how much...

....and how little my life has changed. From being the abused attention seeking kid who got his happiness from giving it to others to a depressed teenager who can't even smile without it looking forced - because it is. I feel like I'm literally breaking into pieces. The failed sociopath. I can't feel empathy for strangers or even people who are very close to me yet I can crave being able to connect to someone. I can't care about others, but I WANT to care about someone. That's why I gain crushes so quickly; I so desperately want someone to talk to that I become fixated on whoever seems likely to give it to me. I make the mistake of pulling that person through my forced apathy in hope that it'll get better but then, whether they know it or not and whether I show it or not, they shatter every part of me that I opened. I can't share any of my real thoughts with anybody due to how skewed they are and anyone else with thoughts similar to mine will never be able to share them either......

...making any hope of meeting somebody pointless if they even exist. Not to mention that if I shared even a fraction, a fucking minute percentage of them, I'll get reported to hell and back making me get expelled for being a "threat". I think constantly for WEEKS going over my ideas and beliefs before whispering a word of them to anyone, but when I do I just get laughed at and dismissed because they don't conform or they go against what they were raised to believe. I can't even try to wait for things to get brighter because the dark only keeps getting darker. It's always darkest before the dawn, but what happens when the sun never comes? I can't even talk, or even let him know, about my thoughts to my brother, who is one of the few reasons I am alive, about my thoughts because he, for all his immorality, still sees some of the things I believe as repugnant. And I know that I can't even display half of what I'm feeling because if I do then I'm just an angsty teen going through a phase.

Honestly though it's a good way to release emotions. It's basically a burn diary.

Who cares if people understand your thoughts. Who cares if you can't feel empathy. You're you. Funny, interesting, off the rocker, Spidey.
Keep being you and you'll find someone who will accept you for you. And maybe your thoughts scare people. That's okay.
Your thoughts might not fit with others. Thats good. It means you're unique and not scared to hide it.