Regardless being "successful" in the generally held sense by society seldom leads to happiness on its own. If such were the case I suspect there wouldn't be so many rich people and "picturesque" living people with such a need for seminars, gimmicks, get aways, self help material, drugs or other scandals. Having a wonderful family and a great career can actually be a huge source of stress for many, as well as upkeeping the image. Hapiness isn't found in things, they can simply aid hapiness.
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· 6 years ago
Let's assume most people will not be able to turn their favorite occupation into a commercially successful career. So in order to be successful they will have to spend a lot of time on their job; time, they can't spend with the persons and/or things they love. There is practically nothing you can enjoy as much when you're old and (probably, not necessarily) rich as when you're young(er). There is no such thing as a saving account for the beautiful moments and things in live. Pursuing a career is probably a good idea though, if you have no life. Then your money can at least buy you coke and hookers.
Very true. Success and hapiness as very amorphous concepts. If we define success for an organism as survival, any living organism is successful until it dies. Likewise if success is to pass your genes you're successful once you procreate and then passage is up to them if success is accomplishing a goal- if your only goal is to have no rent, homelessness is success. If you define success as hapiness then all factors are irrelevant so long as you are happy. Of course money tends to aid most people in both, as one can create opportunity with money, and being able to not worry about basic needs is generally beneficially to well being and pursuing life. A fulfilling career can give purpose and sense of accomplishment many seek, and can also in ideal provide money and satisfaction. But neither are required in general. Many things in life can't be bought by the richest person, hapiness and beauty are in the mind and unique to us all, so is where we find it.
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· 6 years ago
I'm all for having a society that is emotionally and socially more connected. It would do a lot of good and lift a lot of undue burdens and anxieties.
How do we do it without being weirdos though?
Me: Hey Jim.
Jim: Hey.
Me: How was your weekend? Do anything fun?
Jim: Well, I had to work some overtime. We're understaffed, and I had to fill in, but the extra income will let me and the wife and kids go to Cape Cod this summer, so that's nice.
Me: Nice... Are you happy?
Re: sociolinguistic phenomena
Some linguistic research from the late '70s found evidence that "it is in the mutual self-interest of individuals engaged in conversation not to initiate face threatening acts (FTAs)".
These FTAs include any time a person interrupts another person's time or space with a solicitation of interaction. It's linguistically (at least for English-speaking Americans) more polite to ignore other people unless interaction is necessary, especially in public.
No no no... you ask it like an existential question.. like... "dude... are you happy?" It's not creepy at all... it's an honest question and you'll get into a philosophical conversation unless you're dealing with a superficial punk bitch.
I'll skip a lot that's been discussed and say this: What does it tell me if you're happy? I know nothing about you but you are happy, and that can be for any reason. A solid question like a job can help me form a profile to work with. It gives me follow up questions to try and find common ground and get a better idea of you based on hemeraloties I can draw. The more we talk the more I can infer. As we go I can let go of wrong assumptions and in time we can know each other as people if we get there. Are you happy is 3 questions away from prodding for details about your home life, cheating partner, dead grandma, bad childhood. It gets deep fast. Too deep for just met you or elevator talk and most people will be offended a stranger is prying into their life. It doesn't really direct a conversation either if I had a purpose other than just saying hi or bs'ing, and if I did have a purpose it lengthens the time to get to it while we discuss your sea monkey farm and how fulfilling it is.
Ok... you've missed the tone I was trying to convey. When you ask it, you have to ask it with a hint of wonder but also in a sense that you yourself are unhappy. When done right, it works, when done wrong, yeah it's creepy.
I can see it working. But that's the key- the profile. I think it's way more likely to work on a young web designer than say the older VP of a company. But to get a good idea of wether they are a superficial punk bitch beyond just going off their looks you'd need to feel them out. Otherwise it's hit or miss. If you don't care about the outcome and potential awkwardness doesn't bother you it's a good test to tell right away who you're dealing with I suppose.
When it comes to talking w/ people IRL, I'm good at immediately reading people and engaging, even when it makes me feel like a car salesman, so from that base tone I can adjust accordingly. I hate it when I have to BS like that though.
I do agree with you btw, if you can't pull it off, it's going to sound,,, weird.
I think that's a pro move. That's one of those things like loud shoes or cowboy boots not everyone can pull off, but if you do you really make an impression.
How do we do it without being weirdos though?
Me: Hey Jim.
Jim: Hey.
Me: How was your weekend? Do anything fun?
Jim: Well, I had to work some overtime. We're understaffed, and I had to fill in, but the extra income will let me and the wife and kids go to Cape Cod this summer, so that's nice.
Me: Nice... Are you happy?
Jim: *bound by sociolinguistic phenomena* ummm... What?
Some linguistic research from the late '70s found evidence that "it is in the mutual self-interest of individuals engaged in conversation not to initiate face threatening acts (FTAs)".
These FTAs include any time a person interrupts another person's time or space with a solicitation of interaction. It's linguistically (at least for English-speaking Americans) more polite to ignore other people unless interaction is necessary, especially in public.
There's also a lot of self-preservation involved in not asking someone if they're happy.
For the record, I'm all for changing the tenor of our conversations, being willing to directly ask the people close to us if they are satisfied with life. But randomly asking our neighbors or co-workers "are you happy?" is not likely to deepen many relationships.
I do agree with you btw, if you can't pull it off, it's going to sound,,, weird.