Some people's thoughts might just move to fast, or some have to sort through many thoughts.
Using a buffer ("um", "like", "really", so on) is a way to extend the time allowed to sort through it all.
Speaking is indeed an art. But you must remember two things before criticizing.
One, not everyone is good at art right away. And time away from said art can deteriorate the skill.
Two, speaking is an improvisational art, requiring an in-the-moment response. People with greater social anxieties or perhaps lisps may not be capable of such immediate, on the fly remarks.
@i_ I have social anxiety. When I try to have a conversation, sentences form in my head correctly, but as I speak, I stutter and forget what I was saying. This often leads to me saying “um” every time I’m asked a question, sticking a couple “like”s into every sentence, and once in a while, “Shit, I lost my train of thought. I’m so sorry.”
I’m trying my best to stop using linguistic buffers so much per request of my teachers and strangers I speak to, but it’s very hard when all your mind does during conversation is tell you how you’re making such a fool of yourself, and how the other person now hates you because of it.
Wasn't there a study done with kids with stutters that showed if you criticise their stutters it only gets worse ? I'd assume it's the same for buffers.
So rather than complaining, maybe help someone get over their dependence on buffers rather than being a little bitch about a natural thing that happens when most people don't have a script to go on ?
I don't give a shit about stuttering. I know people can't help that. But if you have to fill empty space with buffer words then maybe you should consider condensing your meaning.
I used to (my dad and sister currently do) work with a guy with a terrible stutter. It's so bad that my dad told my sister in half seriousness to not ask him questions that required him to elaborate, but if he initiated conversation he could get his point across quick and easy, even through his stutter. His communication with regards to work was excellent because he knew what he wanted to say and said it without any fuss.
You're not usually aware you're doing it
Using a buffer ("um", "like", "really", so on) is a way to extend the time allowed to sort through it all.
One, not everyone is good at art right away. And time away from said art can deteriorate the skill.
Two, speaking is an improvisational art, requiring an in-the-moment response. People with greater social anxieties or perhaps lisps may not be capable of such immediate, on the fly remarks.
I’m trying my best to stop using linguistic buffers so much per request of my teachers and strangers I speak to, but it’s very hard when all your mind does during conversation is tell you how you’re making such a fool of yourself, and how the other person now hates you because of it.
So rather than complaining, maybe help someone get over their dependence on buffers rather than being a little bitch about a natural thing that happens when most people don't have a script to go on ?