Lol
You want to hear a bad one my kid was eating dinner. We were having spaghetti. She grabbed a noodle with her fingers and leaning her head back drops the noodle into her mouth. Than she gave a tomato sauce covered grin to me. I tell her to use her silverware. She says but "I love the feeling of a long wet slippery... (than she stopped mid sentence to take a drink than says) ...spaghetti noodle." I yelled at her finish your sentences when you start one like that!!
She still has no clue what she did lol
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· 6 years ago
Lmao. I don't even read your stories before up voting them. I know they are gonna be lit.
Hold on, I've got an even worse one. So I was playing with my boyfriends kids (3 and almost 6) and acting like I was eating our cushions. His son pretended to be a wizard and conjured mayonnaise upon it so that it tastes better. And then he said “I can conjure mayonnaise to anywhere I want! I can conjure mayonnaise INTO YOU“
And I looked at my boyfriend and said: Your dad can do that too :D
These are awesome. I was having a cookout, and my friend showed up with her two daughters (2 and 4). My friend asked me to watch them while she ran to the restroom. The 4 year old wanted a snack so I gave her a hot dog. She said, "I'm gonna eat it like a lollipop" and then proceeded to go to town on it, licking and sucking it. When her mom came back a minute later, she saw what her ridiculous kid was doing and saw me backing away with my "HELP, I NEED AN ADULT" expression and she doubled over laughing for so long, which helped nothing.
You want to hear a bad one my kid was eating dinner. We were having spaghetti. She grabbed a noodle with her fingers and leaning her head back drops the noodle into her mouth. Than she gave a tomato sauce covered grin to me. I tell her to use her silverware. She says but "I love the feeling of a long wet slippery... (than she stopped mid sentence to take a drink than says) ...spaghetti noodle." I yelled at her finish your sentences when you start one like that!!
She still has no clue what she did lol
And I looked at my boyfriend and said: Your dad can do that too :D
I find it hilarious to make dirty jokes in front of innocent ones who don't get it