I think this is the fastest I've ever gotten this many responses this quickly on a post, and I gotta say I like your guys' enthusiasm for ruining your lives
Sadly, we can only authorize resurrection attempts of your own mothers (please see terms & conditions for further details).
Please note: If you are successful in your resurrection, we sincerely DO encourage the burning down of the residence thereafter, as the flame alchemist is currently out of town, and we are not yet properly equipped to deal with the zombie apocalypse at this time.
*This only applies to fully-human resurrections. Our organization does not endorse the transmutation of any partial species, and strongly discourages the combination of relatives with family pets of any kind.
If you are planning on killing your dog and sister, or have already done so, and now wish to bring them back seperately, we have no reasonable objections to this, although we specialize in maternal resurrections. We will add that fire is not only good at zombie army containment, but also highly effective in the destruction of evidentiary remnants.
If you are a dog yourself and wish to resurrect your sister-dog, the answer is much the same, although we would like to discuss this more with you later in our 5th Laboratory. For purely educational purposes, of course.
If you wish you resurrect a chimerical combination of any of the above, please stay on the line, an Ishvalan will be with you shortly.
While this is a helpful step in the direction of ruining your life, it is not, in fact, necessary. Alternatives include:
-Joining a cult (*dead boyfriends sold seperately)
-using specialized alchemy for the attempted genocide of an entire race (*this has proved an especially popular starting point for many)
-abandoning your wife and children
-Murdering the doctors who saved your life
-Bankrupting the entire town you own, turning everyone against you
-Falling in love with women who can crush nuts between their breasts
-Killing women who can crush nuts between their breasts
-Being eaten alive
-Being framed for murder
-Trying to kill the Flame Alchemist
-Trying to kill the Fullmetal Alchemist
-Trying to gain immortality
-Slacking off in front of Riza Hawkeye
-Trying to get to another world via human sacrifice (*See: joining a cult)
-Thinking you can defeat a serial killer with Mr. Monopoly cosplay.
The possibilities are endless. Please feel free to get creative.
Please note: If you are successful in your resurrection, we sincerely DO encourage the burning down of the residence thereafter, as the flame alchemist is currently out of town, and we are not yet properly equipped to deal with the zombie apocalypse at this time.
*This only applies to fully-human resurrections. Our organization does not endorse the transmutation of any partial species, and strongly discourages the combination of relatives with family pets of any kind.
If you are a dog yourself and wish to resurrect your sister-dog, the answer is much the same, although we would like to discuss this more with you later in our 5th Laboratory. For purely educational purposes, of course.
If you wish you resurrect a chimerical combination of any of the above, please stay on the line, an Ishvalan will be with you shortly.
-Joining a cult (*dead boyfriends sold seperately)
-using specialized alchemy for the attempted genocide of an entire race (*this has proved an especially popular starting point for many)
-abandoning your wife and children
-Murdering the doctors who saved your life
-Bankrupting the entire town you own, turning everyone against you
-Falling in love with women who can crush nuts between their breasts
-Killing women who can crush nuts between their breasts
-Being eaten alive
-Being framed for murder
-Trying to kill the Flame Alchemist
-Trying to kill the Fullmetal Alchemist
-Trying to gain immortality
-Slacking off in front of Riza Hawkeye
-Trying to get to another world via human sacrifice (*See: joining a cult)
-Thinking you can defeat a serial killer with Mr. Monopoly cosplay.
The possibilities are endless. Please feel free to get creative.
I'M THE MAN THAT'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THe lemons.