"You're mine now"

That's how you get a cat

I'm the drunk type who thought it followed me home but it ended up being me carrying it home.

OP you look like you could be my husband's brother.

OP looks like an average weight elija wood.

No that's not how you wake up. You put your cat in that position for the sake of meme.

That's the cat's narrative. The OP is the cat.