Hell If I have to, I will shart myself

Since I started telling people who ask that "Yes, I'm incredibly ticklish but it triggers involuntary violent actions" no one has tried.

This is a Demetri Martin joke, it didn’t come from a 7th grade teacher (unless they saw his comedy special)... source: I saw this special and I’ve convinced my nephew to say this when someone asks!

i used to be, but i'm not anymore, life is hard sometimes

"Yes, because it makes me horny" it's a good comeback too

I love the internet