I see ghost people...

There's only one place with carpet downstairs, and the throw-up cat (long, long hair) will only throw up on the one carpeted room. I've wondered what she'd do if I tore that up when I installed the hardwood and then rolled up the rugs. Puke on the bed I guess? I think it might have something to do with bracing herself as the hairball comes up... like the cushioning of the carpet or something. I'm probably overthinking it, but... eh... tis what I do.

We had a dog named Tarzan. One night we took him to do his business before heading to sleep(he feels embarassed pooping infront of people). Tarzan needed to poop again later that night but instead of going to my room to wake me up, he thought it was an awesome idea to poop on the carpet downstairs. He then regreted it and tried to clean the poop himself with his paws. I didn‘t think he could make it worse, but he did. We woke up to a terrible smell and Tarzan was hiding. It took 3 days to get the odor completely off the carpet. My dad made Tarzan live in a kennel outside since then.

Tarzan sounds like a badass (at least he tried)... true story, you know those jars of minced garlic? My grandma started hoarding the tops of lids... she took one with garlic that had yet to be washed and she used it as a fucking "air-freshener"... it took two fucking weeks to figure out. She's worse than either of my cats XD

Tarzan was also an absolute softie. He was a pure bred bullmastiff. The irony is that he looks very dangerous but will lick your face any chance he got. Your grandmom is one of a kind. She likes the smell of it? My grandmom has a sweet tooth. She hoards sweet stuff and hides them whenever my aunt gets back. She swears a lot and isn‘t afraid to say the craziest things(even in public).

A mastiff!? Oh so fuckin awesome. As for my g-mama? No... her nose is now going out (as are her taste buds with it), and she literally couldn't fucking smell it. Fucking garlic... she couldn't smell it. Stage 3 has turned into stage 4 dementia; at least it's only garlic that made me aware.
Anyway, she hoards shit because she can't remember where to put things.

Oh. Does she forget you occaaionally? Do you help her put her things in the right places(or in the trash)?

Yeah, I spook her sometimes as I come down the stairs. I've started to listen to the floorboards on my first floor so I know where she is so I don't surprise her.
Yeah... I keep trying to move her books around so she's not "bored"... but she gets to like... page 12 on a book and will be stuck there for 10 hours.... if she gets the book back, she'll find her place again after re-reading a few pages, but usually the book is just... in weird spots.

I'd move down into my own living room if I weren't so nocturnal.

That‘s so sweet of you. What “weird spots?“ Ooh, we have a night owl here

Sorry I'm still fucked up about the garlic. She had a whole box of breadcrumbs and cereal flakes.... she started placing bottles like they were decorative vases... she tries to put anything shiny she can on a necklace and like combine her jewelry (this is, by far, the best thing as it keeps her entertained, away from everything, and she never accomplishes her goal).... She'll start moving small potted plants around and then ask me to move them back and forth...
She's fucking decorating, obviously... she just keeps waking up wondering where the fuck she is.
God save her if she ever spouts a new set of legs and gets her hands on my Lego collection.

She seems really adorable. It‘s like having a little kid around(not in a bad way). You have a Lego collection?

No... it's not like having a little kid. It sounds like it... but... NO.
Yeah, just last year I amassed 10,000 pieces over X-mas for $100 in one swoop.... which put me over 100,000 pieces. Know what's fucked up? There are still pieces I run short on.
ex: https://shop.lego.com/en-US/product/Downtown-Fire-Brigade-60216
Look at the very top of the building. The two lion head pieces?! I have three of those, one in tan, two in dark grey. Those fuckers are in normal grey. Those pieces ludicrously rare.

Screeeeeeeeeeech.
<_< owl....
Oh. I also have a bunch of different colored Lego owls from the Harry Potter sets. A Parrot vs Owl fight perhaps? Gandalf on an eagle swoops in!
>_> please stop my drunk ass.

I'm not going to go spend $100 on 2 pieces, but... there's a whole black market if I ever want them. (I built a golem sphinx thing with one of my dark grey one... that was like 15 years ago and I'm still hesitant about moving that piece).

Sorry about that.
Woah, that‘s a lot. *stops your drunk a*s*
Spoken like a man who‘s passionate about his Legos

Yeah, that was a hell of a rant XD

Lol. Do you only collect Legos?

Well I mean... I have a DVD/Blu-Ray collection and a game collection... I also used to collect pokemon cards. I'm sitting on those, letting them appreciate... I'll sell them eventually.

oh, books and hoodies. I have like two closets and an armoire filled with books, but most are my grandma's. Before she moved in she had, literally, thousands, but we couldn't take them all so I went through them one by one and picked out the best. It took me two days... and I had to get a ladder and start from the top and work my way down because the shelves had collapsed and the weight was being supported by the books. It was fucked up.

@funkmasterrex That‘s pretty cool. Woah, did she read them all?

I don't know, if she did she wouldn't be able to remember and actually tell me. I also found multiple copies of the same story (She really loves Twain).. so for those I just picked the copy that was in the best shape, or in shape that would last longer.

Ok :)