You should definitely mention her lack of said skills to her
5 years ago by vichy · 853 Likes · 4 comments · Popular
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karlboll
· 5 years ago
· FIRST
A smile and an "ok but I'm here for you if you need to talk" goes a long way.
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guest_
· 5 years ago
Do not, in general try to pull the “truth” out of a person who is “fine.” They may we’ll be fine- and then they become not fine because it’s annoying to have a person keep asking you what’s replay wrong when you’ve said you’re fine- and you might not be the first person to do this today to them. Also- they may not be fine. But they may be fully aware that whatever is bothering them will pass and is minor and or not worth discussing. It may be not that you did something wrong, but that in a moment they are annoyed by something you did and are aware that’s a personal thing and not something you did on purpose, not something you can or even should do anything about- they know they just need to let their emotions get in check.
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guest_
· 5 years ago
They also may know that they may not have the patience to explain to you, like “I’ve had an off day and felt easily annoyed since I woke up. The way you said that thing made me think of <someone I don’t like> <a fight we had a long time ago> <feeling disrespected..> etc”. There’s nothing constructive for you to say. And what are you to do? In the future avoid doing anything that might be associated with a negative thing in their mind? Not practical. But it also might start an argument that they might not also be in a good place to avoid and instead will escalate it.
guest_
· 5 years ago
So as the OP and as karboll have said- if they don’t want to talk- make it known you are there to talk if they like, but let them be. If they are still acting that way after some time and you know them well enough to know that isn’t like them- maybe try again just saying basically that you aren’t trying to be annoying, but you get the feeling something is off and you care and want to know. Just be prepared and ok with the fact that they either still might say it is nothing, or they might say some things you won’t like, and getting hostile when they open up after your urging just subconsciously trains them that they can’t trust you to voice their feelings. So, don’t ask if you aren’t ready to maintain composure if you get an answer.
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