The thing about chronic pain is that you don't suddenly notice a difference in how you feel, it's not like breaking you arm.
It's a gradual progression of being uncomfortable and more irritable and you just can't get rid of it, and sometimes it is worse than other days and you feel so exhausted and frustrated that you want to cry, but you feel that you don't really have a reason for it because the pain has become such a normal thing that you've stopped seeing it as something being "off", it's just part of who you always are.
You forget how it was before, and you can't see why you are more irritable or tired, or even see that you are more so at all until someone points it out to you, and that coupled with a reduction in your performance, or having to work harder than others to achieve the same things makes you wonder whether you are a less worthy person all-in-all.
Well obviously they noticed, but I'm saying above the psychological effects, it is even more added to by the effects of chronic pain.
These effects are more than just pain, it alters your whole state, and this concept is not often well understood.
Hence, I am adding to mrscollector's statement that they must have been in so much pain, it's just not the kind of pain people can understand or relate to unless they've had it or someone close to them had it.
I have had chronic pain. I have had pain so strong I even got to where I wanted to die. I used to have nerve damage in my jaw due to a terrible dentist who left 3 screws in my jaw. My gums grew over them and destroyed my nerves in that area. Giving me chronic pain. I would take sleeping pills and enough pain pills to kill a horse just to be in a coma so I would sleep through the pain. I am actually missing part of my gum line and part of my jaw. They couldn't fix the problem so they removed the damaged area. I don't have the pain anymore. I was lucky because they could remove the problems area and you have no clue I am missing the part of my jaw and gum line by looking at me. They fixed it so you can't tell. But the healing was hell. I had to eat nothing solid for a month.
Not to mention ever since I was a teenager I have had constant knee pain. One morning when I was a teenager I woke up and found I couldn't place my foot straight. If I walked normal I was in intense amount of pain but if I walked with my foot turned inwards I was fine. I told my parents and they just assumed I slept wrong and it stop after a while. Well it lasted 6 months. One morning just like before I woke up got out if bed went to the living room and half way there I realized I could walk normal. Turned out I dislocated my knee cap.
Yeah no idea how it happen.
Now it is constant pain. If it gets to hot or to cold to fast or rain I am in so much pain I go back to over dosing to be in a coma. I use icyhot pads and heating pads and ice bags and even numbing jells. They only down grade my pain from a 10 to a 9.5. When I go to the store on a bad day which is now almost every day thanks to spring being a bitch when it comes to weather I have to ride one those electronic carts.
When we went to Disneyland I had to get on a cart there as well. Do you know those cost 70 dollars a day?
Than there is the fact that when I was 12 I was roller skating and fell landing (-.-) on my roller skate and dislocat tail bone. Again parents didn't take me to doctor but this was only for 2 months (school was starting soon so they took me) yeah tail bone dislocated. Ever since than I can not sit still for more than 5 minutes I have to get up and down and reposition myself or I am in alot of pain.
So ummmm... yeah I know about pain.
Sorry to hear about that, @mrscollector.
I wasn't saying that you don't know though, I was elaborating on the statement for those who wouldn't know.
I cracked my coccyx and have a permanent injury on my ankle fromsport, every time the weather changes to winter it is sore as heck.
I also have a lengthened/extra coccyx bone, so when I sit down for too long it's really uncomfortable and my bum and legs go completely numb, no matter the position. My back is also quite screwed due to being malformed, and it stings and burns or is just plain out hecking sore on a daily basis, especially when I've been sitting. Sometimes my breathing is also affected, especially when I run.
"It's a gradual progression of being uncomfortable and more irritable, but you feel that you don't really have a reason for it because the pain has become such a normal thing that you've stopped seeing it as something being "off", it's just part of who you always are. + You forget how it was before, and you can't see why you are more irritable or tired, or even see that you are more so at all until someone points it out to you." I have had intense chronic pain for the last 3 years surgery fixed some but I had an entirely different experience. It was not gradual and I lived/live in that state everyday, when pain is that intense you don't stop seeing it as something is off you cant ignore agony no matter how many times it comes. yes it becomes part of who you are because you cant live without your body. It is a struggle to live wile some days it is hard to remember you never forget the before its something you long for every damn day its the standard you hold a day to. .....
Not to diminish your struggles, a loss is a loss, no matter how it effects your daily function. Even at your level you clearly empathize, however I think in this case I bet this poor soul started at your level and moved towards/past mine. sorry for incomplete and run on sentences. despite my strong feelings on this matter its also an informal place :)
Yes, you summarised it well - it quite possibly went from the one stage to your much more intense stage, mine is also getting worse over time and chances are I'll also reach that in the next few years, so I'm unable to say. Thanks for your later stage input as well :-)
It's a gradual progression of being uncomfortable and more irritable and you just can't get rid of it, and sometimes it is worse than other days and you feel so exhausted and frustrated that you want to cry, but you feel that you don't really have a reason for it because the pain has become such a normal thing that you've stopped seeing it as something being "off", it's just part of who you always are.
You forget how it was before, and you can't see why you are more irritable or tired, or even see that you are more so at all until someone points it out to you, and that coupled with a reduction in your performance, or having to work harder than others to achieve the same things makes you wonder whether you are a less worthy person all-in-all.
These effects are more than just pain, it alters your whole state, and this concept is not often well understood.
Hence, I am adding to mrscollector's statement that they must have been in so much pain, it's just not the kind of pain people can understand or relate to unless they've had it or someone close to them had it.
Yeah no idea how it happen.
Now it is constant pain. If it gets to hot or to cold to fast or rain I am in so much pain I go back to over dosing to be in a coma. I use icyhot pads and heating pads and ice bags and even numbing jells. They only down grade my pain from a 10 to a 9.5. When I go to the store on a bad day which is now almost every day thanks to spring being a bitch when it comes to weather I have to ride one those electronic carts.
Than there is the fact that when I was 12 I was roller skating and fell landing (-.-) on my roller skate and dislocat tail bone. Again parents didn't take me to doctor but this was only for 2 months (school was starting soon so they took me) yeah tail bone dislocated. Ever since than I can not sit still for more than 5 minutes I have to get up and down and reposition myself or I am in alot of pain.
So ummmm... yeah I know about pain.
I wasn't saying that you don't know though, I was elaborating on the statement for those who wouldn't know.
I cracked my coccyx and have a permanent injury on my ankle fromsport, every time the weather changes to winter it is sore as heck.
I also have a lengthened/extra coccyx bone, so when I sit down for too long it's really uncomfortable and my bum and legs go completely numb, no matter the position. My back is also quite screwed due to being malformed, and it stings and burns or is just plain out hecking sore on a daily basis, especially when I've been sitting. Sometimes my breathing is also affected, especially when I run.