Ahaaaa look I am about to be burned.
5 years ago by guest · 322 Likes · 16 comments · Trending
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guest_
· 5 years ago
· FIRST
So let’s ignore “dad bods” and “Bears” and all the ways that society accepts plus sized men or even says they’re attractive. Let’s ignore that when it comes to men- mass, height, weight, are historically considered to be attractive features- and that “thin” and “small” are historically not attractive in men. That a “Lean” man with muscles is often attractive but generally speaking a “lean” man without muscles isn’t attractive- whereas a lean woman without muscles is often attractive.
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guest_
· 5 years ago
Let’s look at the misses here. Men traditionally aren’t valued as much on criteria of looks as women. That’s what the term “objectification” means. Society sees a woman’s primary value in how closely her looks match what is considered optimal in society. Men have always primarily been judged on things like power, wealth, strength, character. Knights of old were “charming,” “valiant” “chivalrous” “brave” “Strong” etc. princesses were what? Fair? Beautiful? Get the hint? Hugh Hefner wasn’t ever really considered hideous for his age at any time- but he wasn’t Rock Hudson. How’d he get so many girls? How’s an old man date centerfold twins? Spoiler: he was charming, intelligent, rich and successful. Who do you think would have less trouble finding dates in a contest: Bill Gates or an Instagram hunk? Men aren’t generally primarily valued on looks.
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guest_
· 5 years ago
Few guys get into comedy because their modeling careers were draining them. Yet... many comics have objectively more physically attractive spouses. Their personality likely helped a lot. For the pros- having a solid career is a plus- but what if comics who met their spouses before making it big? The fact they made it big shows ambition and ability. Two other things strongly valued in men.
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guest_
· 5 years ago
If you want to make height and baldness gender issues- tell me a woman going bald has things easier than a man. Tell me that a bald female with a good body could make a career like Vin Diesel or Bruce Willis or Patrick Stewart or any number of iconic bald leading men.
guest_
· 5 years ago
Next is height... funny enough you’ll hear many women who are “tall” or “extremely tall” lament how tough it is for them to find men who don’t have issues dating a woman their height. In point of fact- it’s common among many men to not want to date taller women. I have a friend who is male and about 5’5”. He had a good career, is handsome, athletic, and a great guy. He never had any real issues finding women who would date him asides the occasional one or two- but he did turn down many lovely women because he wasn’t comfortable dating someone who was taller, especially when 2” in flats could be 5”+ in heels. Conversely- I knew several shorter men who liked taller women because it make them feel like they looked powerful. Those guys never had issues finding dates beyond what most other men had.
guest_
· 5 years ago
The “range” of General attractiveness is much higher for men. Women traditionally are expected to either fit some narrow list of weights and dress sizes, be “model tall” but not athlete tall, but not too short either (unless it’s a “kink” or “fetish” type thing), not be “too muscular” be in a certain range of hip and bust measurements (adjusted for preference and often extreme), and her career and ambitions are usually: “I don’t care” or “that’s a plus..” and sometimes- all too often- the ambitions and passions of a woman are considered a MINUS. She’s too unavailable, cares too much about work. Too bossy, inflexible, demanding etc. she makes more than her man and he’s uncomfortable with that, so on.
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guest_
· 5 years ago
It’s a very rare thing to hear a woman say “him is great but he has better biceps than me and a bigger bench press. It isn’t going to work.” “I like Joe but he just makes too much money...” so on.
guest_
· 5 years ago
So before you cry double standards- ask yourself... would you date a woman with bigger muscles than you? Not “veins popping” but jacked? Would you date a woman who was bald or balding? Would you date a woman so far to the opposite of what is the wide social gender role? A man feeling rebuffed because he can’t grow a beard... would he date a woman with a beard? A man feeling rebuffed for being short, would he date a woman who was 6 inches to 1 foot taller than him? If you want others to date on personality ask if you honestly do.
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Edited 5 years ago
guest_
· 5 years ago
But “body acceptance” IS about men too! Women tend to be the primary focus because that’s who’s most affected. Because women are mainly judges on their looks and Lizzo gets flack for her weight that large male performers do not. Because when Amy Schumer gains a few pounds she’s a whale and when she loses 100+ she’s still “too fat” but we don’t see that so much with male personalities. “People make fun of Jonah Hill!” Yes. We tend to make fun of all larger people. But the vitriol and media attention isn’t there. No one was saying “We can’t hire Jonah hill/Chris Farley/Notorious BIG, timberland, Craig Robinson, John Goodman, Anthony Anderson: they just are too fat!”
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guest_
· 5 years ago
The pressure to be a man and be “skinny” isn’t the same as it is for women. The weight that looks have on a career aren’t the same for men as for women. Browse google or magazines and see how many lists there are for plus sized male celebs vs. female. See how often a female celebs weight or dress size are mentioned vs a man. See how often women are asked about their diets and exercise vs men (excluding those who are in roles that require an extreme physique or who have made a career on their fitness.)
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guest_
· 5 years ago
Tl:dr- men face challenges. That’s true. But this list ignores the social values society assigns to men and women. That women all but must conform to a narrow range of “stats” whereas men have more freedom in what can be “attractive.” Body acceptance isn’t about gender. If you want to see more men in plus sized acceptance messages speak to the people making them. But don’t try and create adversity where it need not be. Don’t try to make it us vs them, and don’t call it a double standard bald men have it rough if you aren’t chasing down bald women for dates.
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Edited 5 years ago
ernster
· 5 years ago
Found the SJW. What about short men? They’re basically rejects in the dating world
guest_
· 5 years ago
On average a woman is 8% shorter than her partner. How common is it for men to seek or date women who are taller than them? 18% of women made more than their male partners in the 90’s. Today it’s about 20-25%. And studies show men are increasingly stressed about that. Google it and you’ll see it’s common for wives or couples to hide the fact for the man’s benefit. So it isn’t that “short guys” necessarily have it any harder than “tall guys,” if they are trying to date women 8% or more shorter than them. But some of it speaks to gender roles doesn’t it? Men are supposed to be “big, strong, protectors” in social views aren’t they? A 6’ 150lb lady maybe doesn’t feel so “protected” by a guy who’s 5’3” and 120 wet.
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guest_
· 5 years ago
But it doesn’t HAVE to be that way. Men don’t HAVE to pay for dates or make more money or drive all the time. Men don’t have to fight for their women- let her fight for you if you like. Say “my girlfriend will kick your ass if you keep it up pal.” Let her be the big spoon and carry you, have HER carry YOUR purse. Paint your nails and wear eye liner because it looks good. Spend $150 at the salon on your hair cut, color, and style. Take up most of the bathroom space with your makeup and moisturizers and creams. Have her make all the decisions and open doors for you.
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guest_
· 5 years ago
And if she won’t do all that then she’s a cave woman who’s stuck in antiquated gender roles. So what does it matter how tall she is? Would you want to date a Neanderthal who isn’t going to treat you like her proper dainty boy? If she’s rough and insensitive and doesn’t appreciate all the work you put in to you? Move on queen. Don’t let her dictate your self worth. Do you.
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silvermyth
· 5 years ago
I mean, if you're in the same extreme SJW circles on tumblr and reddit that I am, they are VERY accepting of fat, thin, and short men. It's just the mainstream- the people who want to profit- aren't that accepting.
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