Just some basic tips everybody should know

But as said- not exactly literal advice. More a statement that we shouldn’t throw up our hands and say: “well... this is so bad and we are incompetent or impotent to stop it... so you’re on your own...” Like a city where robbery or murder are prevalent. It might be wise not to walk after dark- but you should be able to walk after dark. The law and your fellow citizens should make it so people don’t need to plan their lives around being made the “victim” of a crime. There is also a culture of casual acceptance or forgiveness of indiscretion, and often people rate the severity of such acts by..

.. how much they feel the “victim” is culpable. “They should have known meeting up like that was a bad idea...” “well, you go to that place and what do you expect?” “Everyone knows that is how that guy is. They can’t be surprised..” “they didn’t tell anyone or call the police right away..” “what were they wearing?” “They were in a crowded place and couldn’t make noise? No one heard or saw..?” “Could they have gotten away if they wanted?” “Did they lead them on?” Etc etc. what did the “victim” do to “deserve” it, ask for it, encourage it? How could they have prevented it? Did some part of them want it? Were they trying to “use sex” and are now mad “because they got more than they planned to tease” etc?

So Tl:dr- it’s more just a message. It isn’t the “victims” fault whenever sexual assault happens. It isn’t on them to try to avoid it wether there are or were things they could guess at might mitigate it. It isn’t our place to play the game of guessing what they “did” or “didn’t do” that contributed. The attitude in practice needs to be that it is on the assaulter. It is entirely THEIR fault, and that whatever their reasons for “losing control” or whatever- they did what they did. A flirt, short skirt, whatever- doesn’t even partially justify or reduce their part in what THEY did. Sex takes 2 people. Assault just takes one.

Send whatever message you want. If you want to actually help people you gotta train the willing, protect the weak, help the victims, and be ready to stack the motherfuckers we catch like sandbags.

I mean, I don’t disagree that preventing crimes through preventative measures, self protection, and post crime mitigation of future crime are certainly prudent. I was just saying that as to the original reply, I do not believe this advocates actually using these steps as an active defense against predators. It is just meant to outline the idea that it is the predator who is at fault for their behavior.

You know how he is when he refuses to get a certain point, and how he is unable to detect irony or any other form of ambiguity

He just doesn't understand or care that a good percentage of the "motherf*ckers" he wants to "stack" could easily be derailed years before they victimize anybody with simple messages like these. It's up to others to get the word out and help to stop people from becoming victimized in the first place.

Y'all are real special if you think rapists don't know that they're hurting people.

In fairness- I get where you’re coming from there Famousone. The world is full of ugly people whom simply telling them to think about how their behavior effects others doesn’t make them feel anything except maybe the person telling them would make a nice victim. But- it also isn’t fair to say all rapists or whatever criminal knows they’re hurting someone. That’s actually part of the problem- that sentiment. A great number of people who commit harassment or assault DON’T know.

The guy who grabbed that reporters butt? He probably wasn’t thinking “oh man. She’ll be so embarrassed and maybe need therapy after this!” He was probably thinking “ha ha. This will be funny. I’ll grab her butt and it will be on camera. People will laugh at her face. It’ll be fun!” The person pressuring a partner for sex or acts they don’t want to do, the persistent flirt, the “aggressive” person- even the person who in the “heat of the moment” pushes past a “No.” They aren’t usually thinking about hurting someone. They’re perhaps thinking about what they want. Often thinking that what they are doing isn’t hurting anyone. They may not even know it. They may never see the ways certain things- especially chronic ones- impact that person they meet for a minute at a party in the rest of their life when they go home and cry or go see their therapist.

Those scenarios arguably have some ambiguity. The ones in the post, less so.

Rapists aren’t usually cartoon monsters who wake up and say “how can I ruin a life today?” They are people that friends and family would call a “good person.” Those who sexually assault are often even more innocuous. They often don’t mean any harm at all. They think they are flirting, kidding, etc. all that takes is two people with different boundaries and one of respecting the others limits. You aren’t going to stop a serial rapist stalker by telling them to examine their behavior- but you may stop Kevin in accounting or the college kid or the kid at the bar or... any of those otherwise upstanding folks who in a moment of indiscretion, compromised judgment, thoughtlessness, etc. make a mistake that will end up likely hurting them and others.