I know this is probably about a relationship or whatever, but I get this.
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The tap of a walking stick, someone raising their voice and getting angry at a child, or the scent of any unwashed human can set me off, and the flood of suppressed memories comes rushing back. It always leads me back to blaming myself for my shitty childhood, because the last thing he screamed at me was "EVERYTHING IS YOUR FUCKING FAULT".
.
God, I wish I could just forget it all.
I hope that with time it might get a bit better
You are worthy of love and respect, dear one. So love amd respect yourself because you deserve more than you know
Ah yes! People randomly screaming/yelling in the street (even for funsies) activate my flight reflexes and I'm always shaking for a bit afterwards. (Which is why I absolutely hate people who honk me and yell shit like "hey *uck me" (f or s, your choice), because I get to deal with my childhood trauma and my adult fears all at once, which doesn't seem fair)
My baby daddy helped me unpack some of my stuff this weekend because I moved and he forgot his sweater here and as soon as i saw it I got really sad about the "what could have been" =/
.
The tap of a walking stick, someone raising their voice and getting angry at a child, or the scent of any unwashed human can set me off, and the flood of suppressed memories comes rushing back. It always leads me back to blaming myself for my shitty childhood, because the last thing he screamed at me was "EVERYTHING IS YOUR FUCKING FAULT".
.
God, I wish I could just forget it all.
You are worthy of love and respect, dear one. So love amd respect yourself because you deserve more than you know
and sometimes I don't feel like I deserve those things, but I know that the person I will one day become does.