I'm sure she got the tip and then some

Not always. Different strokes for different folks. And hey- I’m not judging. There is nothing wrong with alternate ways. A good friend and his wife have spent the last 2 years looking for the right “sugar baby” to adopt and bring in to their lives. Totally different relationship, not my thing- but... what’s important I think- what SHOULD be normal- is that everyone involved in a relationship feels that the contributions are fair by both parties.

To our earlier example of people like my friend- he has enough money that he doesn’t care much if you pick up this or that, and the awkwardness of splitting checks or handing him cash or whatever- he doesn’t care for it. Some folks like when you pay for a lunch or whatever once in awhile, even if they are wealthy. They’re often used to paying- so it’s a good way to show appreciation. My friend- when he dates, his dates may make what he makes in a day in a week or more. So he chooses the places and pays the bills because a $200 tip is a lot bigger financial drain to some people than others.

But it doesn’t have to all be money either. When I was younger I dated this big shot attorney. She liked nice things I couldn’t afford- but for whatever reason she also seemed to like dating me when the mood for male companionship struck her. I made very little at the time- she paid for most things, even though I’d often try to. But, she was clear with me that money isn’t what she needed or appreciated. She liked being listened to, she liked being able to let down her attorney persona and having someone who- to be frank- she didn’t feel judged by and didn’t have to care if they did judge her since our worlds were very different and separate. I wasn’t dating her for the money either. To be honest- I was young and she was intelligent and beautiful. I didn’t know what she actually did or what she made when we met. But neither of us really cared who paid for what. What we both got from that was something else entirely.