Generally speaking it is safest to not borrow and lend money to friends unless the friend and/of the money are things you are willing to lose. But NEVER borrow from someone who owes you unless you’re EXPLICITLY clear and agree, with witnesses or preferably text of some kind (even a text message) what is going to happen- and that NO conversations that aren’t in writing will change what is agreed upon.
Growing up I had a friend who would borrow money from people, and then later you’d be out and e might say: “I’ll pay for your lunch.” He wasn’t BUYING you lunch- he would count this as against his debt. Later- if you asked for your money- he’d usually say something like: “I owed you $10, but I bought you lunch for $6 and paid for parking for $6, so technically you owe ME $2...” he also wouldnt just give you the money- he HAD to buy you something.
So if he said “I’ll buy you lunch..” for $10, and you said “that’s ok. Just give me the $10..” her refuse. He’d say “I’m offering to pay you back by buying lunch. $10 is $10. If you da no- you’re saying I do t owe you.” I didn’t really care so much even if it was annoying- but some people got very mad and never spoke to him again or became his enemy.
Just be careful borrowing and lending. People have their own ideas and codes and honor and customs. Unless you have verified trust, or are willing and able to do without- it’s best avoided- especially borrowing or lending that which you annoy replace.
This is why I abuse my position of generosity. Like.... owe isn't exactly in my day-to-day vocabulary, so take what is needed and then if I need something (I most likely wont; cept a weird swerve save from the cops after I'm out of the cage).... then everything is just nicer. My best homie could literally water a plant not 2 feet from me while I snooze and... it's all good.
Never a borrower or a lender be.
Is a saying my grandmother used to tell me.
I say never borrow with out full intent of returning the borrowed thing or money. Or if unable to give it back offer a return favor. Such as an item like it or some sort of work of some kind to pay back.
If you lend never lend anything you are not willing to lose. Money or item. If you can not say it is ok keep it than you shouldn’t lend it.
Example: My aunt sent me money when quarantine first hit. My husband and I gotten sick during our family vacation. So his work said not to come in. My aunt sent money 2 times and not just 20 bucks she sent an amount we can not at this time really pay back.
She being her kind self said all she wanted in return was me to call every couple of days and let her know how we are doing. She and I wasn’t doing well with my mom’s passing she wanted me to just chat with her. And she let the money go. I did and still do.
As always- well said. My father would say the same thing- my grand father (mother’s dad) however would always say “if you borrow something you should return it better than you got it, or give a small gift.” So if you borrow someone mower you might sharpen it before returning it, or if you borrow their their sweater you’d clean it or maybe patch a little loose thread. The lesson I learned over the years though is to be careful about “making it better.” “Better” May not be the same to everyone. My mother- when she was very young- spent a whole day scrubbing the black out of a friend’s very old heirloom cast iron- she didn’t know what seasoning was. Needless to say her friend was quite upset and my mother didn’t know why until her friend explained.
A friend I knew was recently married long ago and while away on business- his wife surprised him by having his faded old first car painted. Sadly... she didn’t realize that 1. She chose a terrible painter who did a terrible job. 2. It was old one stage paint and just needed a good buff.. and 3. The paint was good- just dull. It was ORIGINAL factory paint- which substantially raises the value of the car and had taken decades of care to preserve in such good shape. Their marriage survived but he still gets upset and gives her shade of it comes up to this day!
If you have this issue, you have no family friends. If you have never found yourself watering the plants of your best friends' mom, is that really your best friend?
Is a saying my grandmother used to tell me.
I say never borrow with out full intent of returning the borrowed thing or money. Or if unable to give it back offer a return favor. Such as an item like it or some sort of work of some kind to pay back.
If you lend never lend anything you are not willing to lose. Money or item. If you can not say it is ok keep it than you shouldn’t lend it.
Example: My aunt sent me money when quarantine first hit. My husband and I gotten sick during our family vacation. So his work said not to come in. My aunt sent money 2 times and not just 20 bucks she sent an amount we can not at this time really pay back.
She being her kind self said all she wanted in return was me to call every couple of days and let her know how we are doing. She and I wasn’t doing well with my mom’s passing she wanted me to just chat with her. And she let the money go. I did and still do.