Freakish joint Moose

Faces are likewise- interestingly enough the traditional high fashion model and even actors aren’t “attractive” technically- which it often what makes them attractive. Most people are drawn to certain traits and features, a sort of “average” look- and going outside that creates visually interesting human compositions. But not everyone finds these distinct looks attractive nor does everyone find a more evolutionarily “standard” archetype appealing.

So I would say that YOU might not find you attractive- and YOU might not want to date you or someone who looks like you, but... objectively speaking we can’t say that we aren’t attractive simply because we aren’t attracted to ourselves. How many people have voices other people love or say sound nice, but they themselves despise the sound of when heard played back to them? I would say you certainly are attractive. To someone, somewhere. It’s a fine distinction but an important one.

I guess my objective assessment was the amount of looks I would get in public of the opposite gender. When I was a teenager this happened a lot and I was swimming in potential mates, never having to worry about if I was going to be alone. This happened both at a private and public school, so the pool was gradually broadened and I still came out on top. Once I hit my 20s, college is vast and so many people are out there. I do not get looks thrown my way anymore and am struggling to find a boyfriend. I feel like my objective attractiveness has increased from highschool with improvements to makeup, clothing, puberty, and fitness but its been 3 years since someone has wanted to be in a relationship with me and guys do not glance my way in public anymore. When I downloaded tik tok I saw how many beautiful girls there are and how I am definitely not up to those standards face or weight wise. In my communications class, things like hip to waist ratio and face symmetry do create /1

/2 an objective attractiveness regardless of preference or culture. To clarify, this was something taught in my communications class which makes sense. I do not think I am objectively attractive anymore when comparing myself to the faces on Tik Tok and Instagram when trying to figure out why my pool of potential mates has gone down I’m quantity and quality when college has expanded the playing field

While it is certainly true that both instinctually and artistically there are certain ratios and formulas we can apply to get a pretty good indicator of what the “ideals” are aesthetically- body type and shape preferences change dramatically by culture and location- but there are some constants. However- I do put forward that you may we’ll be drawing a false conclusion. If you believe you have made improvements to your presentation of yourself and your attractiveness has objectively increased- and then assume that your attractiveness relative to the available pool is still insufficient to meet a standard of marketability- you overlook several key factors.

Of course there are other possible factors- between socio political goings on which discourage the male gaze and such- to the objective statistical data that shows the “college age” adults are often dating less- in some cases as few as 2 dates in 4 years reported by seniors. Hook ups seem to be at a relatively high level- reports of 60-80%... but that is reporting A hook up- so the frequency is a little iffy. Of course- self reported data can be unreliable and such. But even if we discount all those factors and increasing numbers of people across the board reporting choosing to abstain from dating to focus on other areas or self-

I’d say- and the “Tl:dr” of the whole thing if you read nothing else- you see many “instagram” type beauties- but- how many men does one see with these women on average? Strolling through town or out and about? Wether bias or not, the exceptional stands out- you’re more likely to notice the 6-15 “hot people” you see than the 60-100+ you see of more “average” looking folks.

Comparing oneself to a person who in some part makes their livelihood off of being attractive, and saying that not meeting that standard makes you unattractive relatively is faulty logic. Firstly- to have their attractiveness factor in to your relative attractiveness you’d have to be dealing only with men from a dating pool where these other women were likely average prospects.

Secondly- their appearance doesn’t diminish your beauty- even in relativity. It sounds hokie but it is true to say that the right man, a wise man, will see YOUR beauty. He will appreciate what is special about you. And believe me- LOTS of guys don’t care. They are either perving and just want MAYBE a pulse- or they will take whatever they can get. That isn’t a put down or to make you feel bad- just, logically- I don’t think you being not attractive is a problem. Haven’t seen you- but I’ve seen some of the partners folks walk around with that are far from Instagram models or some even from hygiene. Hell- I’ve had to punch an acquaintance when I was younger for implying to her face that a young lady I was with was less than what he might have expected. But to me- she was a beautiful person, all around looks included.

My current partner- they have a friends who is a gorgeous woman and found herself in similar straights. In fact- so used to her being the gorgeous one- when I met my current partner she was in a group and they all assumed I was there to hit on this friend- but my eye was in my partner and I made that clear right away. But this lovely friend- had quite a dry spell. Never quite figured out what it was- but it ended like it began- out of nowhere and on its own schedule.

I think you are probably very beautiful, and you don’t need to compare yourself to models and such.

Thank you guest, I appreciate your words. I like when people approach this subject logically because I like to approach situations logically and when girls try to encourage me and tell me that I am beautiful it feels false because it usually is, girls always hype each other up. But when facts and analysis are brought to the table it really eases my anxiety about it, so thank you.

Thank you as well. It was a pleasure taking to you on the subject. It was refreshing for me as well to speak to someone who can approach the practical side of the matter without finding it cold or clinical, or being fatalistic or offended by objective analysis. Hope we can speak again on other things, and I wish you the best of luck- because really I think that’s all it is- timing and environmental factors. Do you and you’ll be prepared for when opportunity is right.