My Dad just got off work and was heading home he worked an hour from home. He was already on country roads and it hits.
He had to go bad. I mean MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY lyrics bad.
He starts to speed and goes from 65 the speed limit to 110 IN A MINI VAN no less lol.
He is FLYING he is a good 10 minutes from home and he sees the lights. Cop pulls him over. My Dad is panicking NOT because he was speeding BUT because he is on the brink of crapping his pants.
The cop is taking FOREVER to get out the squad car.
Finally just as the cop opens his door and reaches my dad’s bumper it happens. My Dad shits himself. And I mean Willie Wonka Chocolate river he swears Augustus shot out his ass at some point.
The cop gets to my Dad’s window and taps on it saying roll it down. My dad slowly rolls it and it isn’t even a inch down and the cop stands a good 6 ft back.
The cop said um you was way over the speeding limit but I see you had an emergency so I will make this a warning.
My Dad thanked him and continued home shitting the rest of the way lol.
When he got home he honked till his mom my grandmother came out to see what was wrong he said bring me the hose and turn it on. She did than he stripped there in the yard and washed off. Than hosed down the car seat and floor board. Btw we lived in the country no one would of seen him.
And sadly this wasn’t even the worse time he had shit himself lol
His stomach and diet is extremely in bad condition right now.
It’s so bad he hasn’t been able to eat for the past 4 years.
Lol sorry he passed away on September 4, 2016. He was cremated just 3 days later. He now and forever resides in the arms of my mom his wife in her coffin. She passed away just this year.
But actually he suffered from the same stomach problems my daughter suffers from.
She can’t handle any spicy food beyond salt and pepper. Due to improper lining of her stomach and lacking certain enzymes to help digest harsh foods.
What would give a normal person a slight stomach ache causes her violent pain and vomiting.
With my kid it makes her vomit but with my Dad it made him um... shall I say empty his bowels in a rapid fire like motion. lol
I was told by my daughters doctor it is kind of like being lactose intolerant but on a much larger scale. When is funny cause she can eat and drink dairy. As long as she doesn’t get over heated. So no milk on a hot day.
He had to go bad. I mean MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY lyrics bad.
He starts to speed and goes from 65 the speed limit to 110 IN A MINI VAN no less lol.
He is FLYING he is a good 10 minutes from home and he sees the lights. Cop pulls him over. My Dad is panicking NOT because he was speeding BUT because he is on the brink of crapping his pants.
The cop is taking FOREVER to get out the squad car.
Finally just as the cop opens his door and reaches my dad’s bumper it happens. My Dad shits himself. And I mean Willie Wonka Chocolate river he swears Augustus shot out his ass at some point.
The cop gets to my Dad’s window and taps on it saying roll it down. My dad slowly rolls it and it isn’t even a inch down and the cop stands a good 6 ft back.
The cop said um you was way over the speeding limit but I see you had an emergency so I will make this a warning.
When he got home he honked till his mom my grandmother came out to see what was wrong he said bring me the hose and turn it on. She did than he stripped there in the yard and washed off. Than hosed down the car seat and floor board. Btw we lived in the country no one would of seen him.
And sadly this wasn’t even the worse time he had shit himself lol
if it were (which i doubt), he should take a look at his diet
It’s so bad he hasn’t been able to eat for the past 4 years.
Lol sorry he passed away on September 4, 2016. He was cremated just 3 days later. He now and forever resides in the arms of my mom his wife in her coffin. She passed away just this year.
But actually he suffered from the same stomach problems my daughter suffers from.
She can’t handle any spicy food beyond salt and pepper. Due to improper lining of her stomach and lacking certain enzymes to help digest harsh foods.
What would give a normal person a slight stomach ache causes her violent pain and vomiting.
well, at least now he doesn't have to worry about his pants anymore
I was told by my daughters doctor it is kind of like being lactose intolerant but on a much larger scale. When is funny cause she can eat and drink dairy. As long as she doesn’t get over heated. So no milk on a hot day.