He blinked in surprise

Fine indeed

I identify with many of these.

The fool is me when my parents ask me to do anything lol

Bonjour, y'all.

My favourite is "What, you egg!" *he stabs him* from Macbeth.
But "Women shouldn't curse" "Get fucked" is close second.

Is there any chance someone could identify these books/plays? I'm somewhat certain that the fool is Terry Pratchet.