Wow someone is making very sweeping statements about a massive group of people seemingly only on their personal experience. And it seems like it's from an "outside looking in" kind of perspective.
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· 3 years ago
It's not like 31.11% (or about 2.382 billion) of all people are Christians. Such a small number of people to generalize.
I mean if this is what we are doing now, then I (who grew up in "purity culture") am declaring that:
I've never heard any 22 year-old Christians say anything like the original post.
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I can't think of any of my (many) Christian family members or friends who married the first person they dated or who (to my knowledge) rushed into marriage at a young age just to have sex. Nothing about purity culture says you have to get married young and I don't know anyone I know specifically advocates for that.
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I don't even know what "atomized" and "sterile dating" means. And what exactly is a "very late age" for dating. In my experience, parents who "made their kids wait" only did so until 16-18 years old. Is that seriously a "very late age?" Sorry, not sorry, that 12 year old Christians aren't out there dating.
(Part 2) Hate to break it to you: People can learn, grow, and figure out how to be good partners before they have sex. That process isn't "on hold" until sex starts. I'm not sure why you have to be alone in a bedroom together to be able to handle finances together.
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Of my family and friends, this is what I can say: The Christian marriages seem to be the happiest and have the least amount of issues. As for the non-Christians: they are almost all a mess, dealing with pregnancies/kids they didn't expect with people they don't want to be with and now they are unhappy and many of the kids are suffering in broken families that are a total mess right now. So yeah, they made mistakes and may have learned, but it hasn't improved their lives or relationships.
Obviously, this is my experience/perspective and not a data-driven argument. But since someone who, from the sounds of it, didn't even grow up in purity or Christian culture decided to say that billions of people are being negatively affected by it and stating their random opinion as fact, I thought at least there should be an opposing side.
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For a site that is supposed to be fun and includes many users who claim to be openminded and say we should just love people the way they are or let people have their differences, there has been so much bashing on Christianity, conservative political values (I'm not grouping those two things together), Americans and pretty much anything that isn't cool to support right now. I'm getting so sick of it.
Unfortunately the purist culture is very muchly ingrained in me and has (and still is) fucking with my sexuality and even masturbation - I feel hella guilty and ashamed and weird afterwards.
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I'm still (seven years later) dating the first person I started dating right after school that I met at varsity (not including the two school dates that was platonic and weird and never got past holding hands even after 6 months, and I was 15 then). Yes, we have sex, but I still feel guilty about it and can sorta only allow myself to enjoy it if I'm coerced into doing it - since then "I didn't choooose to" y'know.
Hits close to home. If anyone at all is interested, Tina Schermer Sellers is a phd therapist who writes some decent pieces about overcoming christian purity culture & shame, aimed to those who experience it (without being anti-religion).
![Purity culture in a [nut]shell](/uploads/original/610/610222.jpg)
I've never heard any 22 year-old Christians say anything like the original post.
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I can't think of any of my (many) Christian family members or friends who married the first person they dated or who (to my knowledge) rushed into marriage at a young age just to have sex. Nothing about purity culture says you have to get married young and I don't know anyone I know specifically advocates for that.
.
I don't even know what "atomized" and "sterile dating" means. And what exactly is a "very late age" for dating. In my experience, parents who "made their kids wait" only did so until 16-18 years old. Is that seriously a "very late age?" Sorry, not sorry, that 12 year old Christians aren't out there dating.
.
Of my family and friends, this is what I can say: The Christian marriages seem to be the happiest and have the least amount of issues. As for the non-Christians: they are almost all a mess, dealing with pregnancies/kids they didn't expect with people they don't want to be with and now they are unhappy and many of the kids are suffering in broken families that are a total mess right now. So yeah, they made mistakes and may have learned, but it hasn't improved their lives or relationships.
.
For a site that is supposed to be fun and includes many users who claim to be openminded and say we should just love people the way they are or let people have their differences, there has been so much bashing on Christianity, conservative political values (I'm not grouping those two things together), Americans and pretty much anything that isn't cool to support right now. I'm getting so sick of it.
.
I'm still (seven years later) dating the first person I started dating right after school that I met at varsity (not including the two school dates that was platonic and weird and never got past holding hands even after 6 months, and I was 15 then). Yes, we have sex, but I still feel guilty about it and can sorta only allow myself to enjoy it if I'm coerced into doing it - since then "I didn't choooose to" y'know.