That's why you befriend snakes and don't make them your enemies

It's a trick. Snakes don't wield swords - they wield switchblades, and they keep them hidden in their mouths

I mean they gotta compensate for their cute little faces somehow, right?

Their scales can be made of knives and everyone is done for!

A snake once told me "ssssssssilence is the best weapon". I told him, thanks wise man. He said: "I'm a cottonmouth" and then he bit me.

Username checks out...

Snakes are illegal in ireland

Says who?