The most oft cited source of this information is a 2006 study. Now, I shouldn’t have to point out how flawed this is- but let’s examine. How much money would it take for a heavy smoker to equal a non smoker? I suppose that depends right? Some people just wouldn’t date a smoker no matter how much you paid them*, and some people only date smokers right? So what about, how much money does it take for a 70 year old woman/man to have the same odds at dating a 20yo as a 20yo? Again- some people will “marry for money” but a good deal of people, especially going people, wouldn’t want to date a 70yo or even someone their parents age…
So the real kicker- how much money would it take for a heterosexual to find someone of the same gender as attractive as someone of the opposite gender who makes less…? We can see the entire premise fall apart as we dig deeper because while money can be a very important factor in relationships and dating- for most people it isn’t so shallow. We can loosely classify relationships into two major types:
Those looking for lasting partnership and those looking for gratification. Someone wanting “no strings no names” sex and/or adventure generally just wants a partner that turns them on. Someone wanting long term partnership will usually be more concerned with a myriad of factors about a person that are deeper than just looks or a single thing or two.
Regardless, to some women no amount of money in the world will make a 5 foot 5 inch tall man attractive. Much the same that for some men (or women etc) a woman with certain facial features or certain body types or style of dress or whatever else isn’t attractive. You can’t quantify a price on attractiveness in this way. Any “scientific study” claiming to has outed itself as bunk from the start. All one has to do to disprove this is… spend some time outside. Maybe get outside their social bubble. There are ALOT of short Latin and Asian guys. It may sound problematic, and there are lots of tall people in those groups too- but average heights are what they are historically. There are average height charts online by country and racial/ethnic groups for those curious. Anyway- all my life I’ve seen Mexican/South American men, Asian men, Pacific Islanders who are short and do well with women. Guys often with little or no money.
Go walk around. Take a trip to southern or central California, Texas, Ontario or BC in Canada, other parts of the world. Some women actually LIKE shorter men. I’m over 6 feet tall and have dated women under 4 feet tall. There are things that are cool and not so cool there, but obviously they were cool with it, liked it. I’ve also known women who were shorter and didn’t like dating taller guys. In my younger better shape, over 6 feet and 200lbs with low double digit body fat any given day- I would dwarf a 4 foot something 90-110lb woman. Some women enjoy that, and some don’t like being with a guy that looks like a monster from their perspective. So different strokes for different folks. I don’t know that it is the case that women need a shorter man to make so much more to even things out- perhaps…
… who is a 6ft or over guy making $30k a year and who dates him? Think about that a second. We can make some generalizations that won’t be true in every case, but will cover most common cases.
I think we are talking about a very specific subset of people who would trade height for money. Although to be fair- don’t we all do things like that? “The face is ok but the body is a 10!” “They aren’t super cute but they were so interesting and easy to talk to..” “everything was perfect t except who they said they voted for, that killed it…”
So I mean- yeah… of course there are things that we find to be more or less attractive and things that we “balance the equation” with- but like… do you really think this is true? Do you really think that a four foot tall man is as attractive in the general dating pool as a 6” tall man making $62,000 a year, so long as the 4’ tall man makes over $700k a year?!!
Like.. seriously? Firstly- a woman who cares all about money would probably be just as attracted to the 4’ guy over the 6’ guy if the shorter guy made $250k vs. 60k. Secondly, a woman who cares about height- four feet tall. Ask someone who is that height about their problems if it comes up. It’s a different ball game than “boo boo I’m 5’6” or 5’8”…” A good deal of women aren’t giving the four foot guy the time of day if he has Elon/Bezos/Gates money.
Which- by the way… Mark Z, Bill Gates, how many women do you know who would find those guys attractive? Not date them for money- find them attractive?
Which shores up our “looks aren’t everything but sometimes they’re more than enough to say no” segment. Let’s get less shallow though- money can’t buy everything. A four foot tall man or woman can be an amazing person and a great partner. As I’ve said, I’ve dated in that range myself and met some amazing women I enjoyed being with a great deal.
Lots of people, wether you want to believe this or not, will live you for being an amazing person. There are plenty of women who find wit, charm, intelligence, sensuality, manners, a good heart- attractive. Sexy. A sharp mind is their 6 pack abs. Bald? Short? Out of shape? Not very well off financially? There is almost certainly a woman who doesn’t care and would find a man sexy despite these things so long as he had those other characteristics that she values.
So often the cry of the short man mimics the cry of the incel- “I can’t find love on society…” well man… like…. Are you looking at short women? Like- how you gonna expect a woman to be like “this guy is 6”+ shorter than average but that’s fine…” if you are going to tell me you aren’t ok dating a woman 6”+ below average for a woman?
What else are you bringing to the table? I’m over 6ft tall yea, but I wasn’t always, and I still flirted up a storm when I was the third shortest kid in my grade. But let’s say I don’t know the short struggle, but short men don’t know what it’s like to be tall either. Being tall opens doors. It would be a lie to say there aren’t women who only gave me a chance because of my height or whatever else. That said- it opens the door but that’s it. It may be easier for me to get a shot, but I still need to have more than the height to date a quality woman. The older you get the more so in many ways. At a certain point it isn’t “what do you plan to do with your life” but “what have you don’t with your life?” Career? Property? Investments? Good credit? Debt? Can you hold a conversation and be interesting and behave yourself well? Are you loaded with baggage?
Whatever stage in life you’re at though, for more than a one night stand or a very shallow partner, whatever opened the door, caught their attention and got you an “audition,” you still have to wow them. So often times, not always, we will get to that, often times we hear short guys moaning it’s unfair that people find them unattractive, meanwhile a whole host of great women are out there single and ready to mingle, but they don’t meet these guys standards. “Not good looking enough…” “not the right type…” “great friend but doesn’t turn me on..” etc etc. and it’s like… Well yeah man. Have standards, do you. Just realize that at some point are standards put us in competition with people who objective may have more to offer than us. I mean, one place this study isn’t wrong… the more overall desirable a person is, the more options they tend to have. Who wouldn’t want to date a great personality with intelligence and tact and kindness and money and great looks etc? So the more we have…9
.. going for us, the more selective we can tend to be. The myth is that dating a good looking person or a wealthy person etc. a shallow. Helps us all feel better. But dating someone ONLY for those reasons is shallow, these things aren’t mutually exclusive. Shockingly, while my buddy might be a great guy, the woman he likes maybe isn’t missing out on anything with her “pretty boy rich guy” boyfriend, because being good looking and rich doesn’t mean he isn’t ALSO a great guy. “But I have a great sense of humor!” Yeah… and how many people in Hollywood or elsewhere are attractive and/or rich with a great sense of humor? Sometimes rich BECAUSE of their great sense of humor? Everyone lives Keanu Reeves just about. If he were much less wealthy (he actually gives quite a bit away anyway) and a bit shorter, do you think all these women who are attracted to him would turn up their noses…?
Some sure. Most? No. He’s so charming and sweet and kind and a bit tragic and intelligent (or seemingly these things) and more. Tom cruise, GIGANTIC sex symbol for decades and still a sex symbol at grandpa age… 5’7” and it isn’t the money. Johnny Depp is a bit taller- 5’10”, but even before he was a huge and wealthy star, in his early career women were swooning over him. Zac Efron- 5’8”. Daniel Radcliffe- many a woman’s crush- 5’5”. Yes, these are all celebrities, it wouldn’t make much sense to you if I listed all the short guys I know who get play since you don’t know them right? But young girls and such aren’t attracted to Radcliffe for his money, he’s Harry Potter. Zac Efron has been hot for some time. So I mean…
For all this tough love, I have sympathy. It’s the exception that being a short man makes anything easy. The rule is it makes things harder, from dating to even earning potential. Short guys face struggles. Some short guys are truly open and aren’t wondering why they can’t land a cover girl but just want a companion they vibe with and aren’t being superficial- and can’t find one. Some of it can be height, but tall guys have these problems too (check the internet out for guys who can’t find a woman…) That is a bigger issue, but I want to be clear I do have sympathy for the challenges. We all gave our challenges in life, some more than others. In the end though- the idea that some set monetary value turns an attractive man attractive to a woman as a generalization is absurd, insulting, and for the short guys out there who buy into such logic- I might take a closer look at that thought process as to a possible reason for lady trouble over the height.
Lol. You aren’t alone, and my guess is that even if he made $30k a year and wasn’t famous, the average 6’ joe would need to make quite a bit more to compete with him in the dating pool.
Those looking for lasting partnership and those looking for gratification. Someone wanting “no strings no names” sex and/or adventure generally just wants a partner that turns them on. Someone wanting long term partnership will usually be more concerned with a myriad of factors about a person that are deeper than just looks or a single thing or two.
I think we are talking about a very specific subset of people who would trade height for money. Although to be fair- don’t we all do things like that? “The face is ok but the body is a 10!” “They aren’t super cute but they were so interesting and easy to talk to..” “everything was perfect t except who they said they voted for, that killed it…”
So I mean- yeah… of course there are things that we find to be more or less attractive and things that we “balance the equation” with- but like… do you really think this is true? Do you really think that a four foot tall man is as attractive in the general dating pool as a 6” tall man making $62,000 a year, so long as the 4’ tall man makes over $700k a year?!!
Which- by the way… Mark Z, Bill Gates, how many women do you know who would find those guys attractive? Not date them for money- find them attractive?
Which shores up our “looks aren’t everything but sometimes they’re more than enough to say no” segment. Let’s get less shallow though- money can’t buy everything. A four foot tall man or woman can be an amazing person and a great partner. As I’ve said, I’ve dated in that range myself and met some amazing women I enjoyed being with a great deal.
So often the cry of the short man mimics the cry of the incel- “I can’t find love on society…” well man… like…. Are you looking at short women? Like- how you gonna expect a woman to be like “this guy is 6”+ shorter than average but that’s fine…” if you are going to tell me you aren’t ok dating a woman 6”+ below average for a woman?