Wholesome Substance

One of the hardest insights I've had was that people who treated me badly won't own up to it and won't talk about it. A lot of the time people won't admit to doing wrong, won't apologise or even acknowledge it ever happened and the only closure you have is you moving on and learning to love yourself.

My experience is that “Closure” is not the tropes we are fed in films etc. where either everything is wrapped up with a bow or we “see it through to the end..” If you’re in a plane that is falling from the sky, would most people when given a parachute say: “no! good or bad, I have to see this to the end.” It’s like- no. No you don’t. You decide the end. “Closure” is something you give yourself. It comes from processing your emotions and you don’t always or often get it in the moment, it may be months or years or decades later that you feel “closure,” or your “closure” may not be some grand catharsis at all- you may just wake up and over time be bothered less and less until one day you no longer give power to this thing anymore and realize you’re passed it and you’ve grown, survived.. There is no single “closure.” It’s hard to learn and evening knowing that it’s hard to put in practice, to live it. We have totems and rituals to “bring closure” but it’s Ultimately about your emotions.