If one wishes to be as crude or pragmatic as to reduce human beings to commodities- one should at least not confuse scarcity with value.
To whit- there is no shortage of land on this great and vast earth, and even in many places where population and building density is high there is often a fair deal of land that can be developed in theory. It isn’t the quantity of land which makes it valuable, it is the value we place in land.
If you place value into yourself, invest in yourself, a lack of sexual contact will generally not be an issue. You may still find emotional connection or mental stimulation etc. as problems- but you can quite literally buy sex across most of the globe, legally or otherwise, so even if one lacks any social grace or ability to attract others there is not a shortage of opportunity if one has the means and desire.
So when one complains about inability to find sexual contact as a chronic condition, it is generally the case that one needs to perhaps…
.. look inwards. Look- common advice to the “forever alone” is to take classes, do new things, take on hobbies. Yes these things CAN lead to meeting someone, but want to know a not so secret? The real reason that is solid advice is because…. Those who are “involuntarily chronically alone” quite often are incomplete people or lead incomplete lives. The companionship and friendship and support and casual physical contact one gets in a relationship can be had with family, friends. We can have romance with ourselves or even with friends or acquaintances. Sex is what is missing. Of course we are generally capable of self gratification, but to many that is not the same- though one can be perfectly sexually healthy on their own. So there are two fundamental questions- why one seeks a relationship and what one offers in a relationship. Relationship can mean one time sex or long term or whatever else here.
When it comes to why you seek a relationship you must realize a few things. Firstly, those who seek to desperately “need” someone tend to be people who are not complete on their own. They seek another to “fill” the holes in their self or their life. The validation of being loved or wanted, someone to bring excitement to a boring mundane routine, things like that. Most people don’t want to “fix you,” least of all healthy and worthwhile people to be involved with. They want a partner or someone to compliment them. Finding someone strong at things you are weak at is not the same as looking for someone to fill a hole in you- but you must offer things of value where you are strong where others may be weak so that you can compliment each others abilities. That leads us to what you offer.
You being lonely is your problem. It isn’t something for anyone to fix. A partner generally will not fix loneliness- having a partner can even make it worse because they are a person not a toy or appliance. They have their own life and moods and desires. They are generally not “on demand” whenever and wherever you need a security blanket. You must offer something to someone else. In an unhealthy relationship all you need is to fill a hole in them- their need to feel loved or their need to feel needed- co dependent people, those with extreme trauma or insecurity may love “walking train wrecks” who need a surrogate mommy or daddy they also sleep with. Someone who they feel can’t function without them or needs their “help” just yo get by, or someone they see as being incapable of “doing better” and so is “safe” and won’t cheat or hurt them etc. they may need or want the power.
But most people capable of healthy and mature adult relationships don’t want a project, they want a functional and self realized human partner. One that can take care of themselves financially and emotionally and physically and perhaps one that can show they can take care of a family and be responsible and consistent and navigate society to get what they need or want. They likely don’t want a dog in human form that spends its days waiting for them and under foot- they want a person who has other responsibilities and priorities and dreams and passions but considers them important and makes time and makes them a priority too.
Now when it comes to just getting sex- that’s pretty easy generally. If you are even remotely attractive or take some basic and simple steps to increase your general attractiveness, you’re already on the easy path. But like I said above- it’s always not too far away for a price anyway, and even if you aren’t what is conventionally attractive, people far less attractive have managed to get some. The criteria for just having sex tend to be different from relationships. Generally speaking people who just want sex aren’t as concerned with your responsibility or prospects or even character. They are usually more looking for signs that they will have a fun time. There is nothing “elite” about it. Money and good looks generally seldom hurt in life, but attitude and bearing and a general persona of someone who is fun and knows what they are doing, confidence and some hints at excitement tend to be key.
Of course your age and where you live play in to this- different cultures look at different things. Where it all comes together though and the “secret” of advice to get out and do things is….
If you find passion in life, if you are able to start to care and enjoy your life and your body- if you have things that have meaning in your life and hobbies you enjoy and skills and friends- when you have these things you fill “holes” in yourself and your life. When you enjoy your life you generally want to protect it and you approach life with a different attitude because you value yourself and your time on Earth. This tends to naturally lead people to “fill” holes in and take care of themselves more.
And at the end of it… you may find you don’t feel a “need” or desperation for sex or a partner so much. You may even find that you don’t WANT one because you like your life, your freedom, having time and money and the ability to do what you love.
There is a saying that gets said often and many ways- an observation you can gain from many stories- that when you aren’t looking for love is when love finds you. The person who was “living their best life” and then met someone and had to adapt their life as a relationship and possibly a family blossomed from that for example. A common tale. It isn’t some “magic spell,” it’s pretty simple. Usually when we aren’t looking for love it is when we are focusing on ourselves and our own lives. It is when we are in a good place- we are generally happy or progressing in our careers or educations, we have hobbies and commonly people in that position will say things like “I don’t have time to date..” or such- because their lives are so full already without involving another person.
So the “secret” of the advice to get out there and do things isn’t that you’ll meet someone- it’s that you may stop whining and obsessing about not meeting anyone because you actually start enjoying your own life and develop a life which someone might actually want to share a part of. You might gain experiences and stories and perspectives to help you make connections with others and have a wider range of topics and things to discuss. You might become a more complete and well rounded person. Your odds of meeting someone- especially someone worthwhile- increase greatly from that point onwards but if you don’t meet someone, you are also less likely to be carrying around a cloud of desperation and general poor attitude or demeanor that people subconsciously or consciously pick up on and tends to be off putting. The way we speak and act and even move about can change based on the way we are thinking.
You need a baseline before you can start to change. A house needs a foundation on level ground. You can’t start therapy for a mental patient who is screaming at invisible people- you medicate first. You can’t do brain surgery on a patient whose lungs are full of fluid. You have to aspirate and get them breathing before.
So when you’re so emotionally and mentally unstable that you are “red pilled” or calling “pussy” a “resource” or speaking about women as commodities or “gate keepers” and not as human beings, when you’re so immature and inexperienced that you are placing such emphasis on an idea you “get” sex versus “having sex”, you need to get baselined and stabilized so you can start to heal the damage and have a chance to heal.
To whit- there is no shortage of land on this great and vast earth, and even in many places where population and building density is high there is often a fair deal of land that can be developed in theory. It isn’t the quantity of land which makes it valuable, it is the value we place in land.
If you place value into yourself, invest in yourself, a lack of sexual contact will generally not be an issue. You may still find emotional connection or mental stimulation etc. as problems- but you can quite literally buy sex across most of the globe, legally or otherwise, so even if one lacks any social grace or ability to attract others there is not a shortage of opportunity if one has the means and desire.
So when one complains about inability to find sexual contact as a chronic condition, it is generally the case that one needs to perhaps…
If you find passion in life, if you are able to start to care and enjoy your life and your body- if you have things that have meaning in your life and hobbies you enjoy and skills and friends- when you have these things you fill “holes” in yourself and your life. When you enjoy your life you generally want to protect it and you approach life with a different attitude because you value yourself and your time on Earth. This tends to naturally lead people to “fill” holes in and take care of themselves more.
And at the end of it… you may find you don’t feel a “need” or desperation for sex or a partner so much. You may even find that you don’t WANT one because you like your life, your freedom, having time and money and the ability to do what you love.
So when you’re so emotionally and mentally unstable that you are “red pilled” or calling “pussy” a “resource” or speaking about women as commodities or “gate keepers” and not as human beings, when you’re so immature and inexperienced that you are placing such emphasis on an idea you “get” sex versus “having sex”, you need to get baselined and stabilized so you can start to heal the damage and have a chance to heal.