In general i agree, it is ghosting to end a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication. But this person is offering an explanation.
Counterpoint: Someone initiates a conversation with you by saying "Hey, sup?" Then you text three or so lines waiting for a reply, which finally comes eight hours later. I get your point, but there's hardly a relationship to end when the dialog is 98/2 or 99/1.
I suppose it is subjective. Very busy people and especially many older people often can take days to text with someone they are meeting through text. If you have a full life you aren’t generally going to prioritize someone until they have shown you enough of themselves to get you invested. Early on things tend to be slow until you at least get to a point where you are meeting in person- which can itself be weeks or months due to scheduling conflicts. In the meantime you’re so busy that you aren’t really overly concerned that this person may “lose interest” because even if you’re looking for a friend or partner, fitting one in is going to take effort and patience on their part, so if they can’t deal with slow replies and not being the primary focus as a stranger that isn’t usually a good sign they’ll fit into your life later.
So if it’s been 3-6 months since you heard from them they probably “ghosted you,” though even then you might have been abroad or such. But if it’s a few days or maybe even a couple weeks they may just be slow to reply because they are busy and you aren’t yet a priority.
Personally I do think that if you are going to stop talking to someone because you don’t enjoy the conversations that you should speak your mind- you don’t have to be overly rude or anything, but telling them early on that you feel like you are doing a lot of the talking or such can be a hint. If the hint isn’t followed you can and maybe it is right to tell them that you’re glad for the experience but you don’t think that things are working between the two of you and you won’t be messaging further.
In fairness though many people do get upset and abusive or harassing even with polite rejection and it is all true that many people beg and push. “But why though?” “I thought things were going well..” “give me another chance..” “really, tell me what I did wrong at least..” etc. all very self serving statements that tend to put the other party on the spot. Why they don’t think things are working for them doesn’t matter- that’s how they feel and if you were in a position to council them on their reminds they likely wouldn’t be breaking away from you. How you thought things were going is not relevant in how they feel and the statement puts them in a position where the natural responses are to try and vouch the blow by fluffing your ego “they were cool it’s just..” and of course defend the decision- which if you wanted to state a plain reason you would have.
Give me another chance is another one that fits many of the above and also ignores the fact they might have already given you several chances or the issue may have nothing to do with anything that could be changed. Most all these replies are also a foot in the door- they create a sort of social contract of expectation of a reply. So I say “I’m don’t texting you..” and you reply with something that either demands I address it with another reply that is likely to lead to more back and forth- the exact thing I said I wasn’t wanting to do with you- or I don’t reply or reply directly and unambiguously to close the matter and need to be or look cruel or tactless.
Those sorts of tactics and behaviors are not becoming and the selfishness or thoughtlessness in them is often a symptom of why one is being ghosted. Not always, sometimes people are just messed up or superficial or frivolous. It could be as simple as you were always meant to be a momentary distraction or fill a specific need for them. Whatever the reasons I can see both sides. It probably is best manners and kindest to not “ghost” people in general- to be honest but tactful or even lie a bit for tact. That said if one is ghosted or feels ghosted it is probably best to just move on. There are alot of pop culture ideas about “closure” that modern psychology just doesn’t support. If you are close to someone and/or have known them a long time being “ghosted” is a bit different generally, but to a stranger or relative stranger that’s all you are.
Wether it is friendly or romantic or ambiguous or other- a stranger is a stranger. If you are talking to someone new at a party or BBQ there are some situations it might seem odd or rude for them to just walk away and others where it would be pretty normal to walk away without saying anything else. Mrs. Manners would say you should introduce yourself formally and excuse yourself but in the real world that isn’t how every interaction goes.
If some person walks by and says: “I like your shirt!” You might not respond at all or say: “thanks!”
And then you both just continue on. They didn’t need to excuse themselves nor do you. You might be standing there and someone walks up and says: “you’re so and sos cousin right?” You could talk briefly and causally and then they see someone else or someone else speaks to them and they walk over there without a goodbye.
So there are nuances and such but I mean- even if someone lacks the social or emotional IQ or awareness to know when a convo is going poorly or the other person seems disinterested, if you have the awareness to think you were ghosted then at that point you know that it just wasn’t vibing even if you thought it was. Asking them if they ghosted you just seems sad and pointless. You might try sending a message to try and restart the convo and if that fails give up, or you might just decide for dig it it sakes that if they want to text you they have your number and if they don’t you have better things to do and think about.
Personally I do think that if you are going to stop talking to someone because you don’t enjoy the conversations that you should speak your mind- you don’t have to be overly rude or anything, but telling them early on that you feel like you are doing a lot of the talking or such can be a hint. If the hint isn’t followed you can and maybe it is right to tell them that you’re glad for the experience but you don’t think that things are working between the two of you and you won’t be messaging further.
If some person walks by and says: “I like your shirt!” You might not respond at all or say: “thanks!”
And then you both just continue on. They didn’t need to excuse themselves nor do you. You might be standing there and someone walks up and says: “you’re so and sos cousin right?” You could talk briefly and causally and then they see someone else or someone else speaks to them and they walk over there without a goodbye.