granlobomalo
"All the better to eat you with, my dear.”
I huffed and I puffed,
And the house blew apart,
I’m leaving for now,
But you’re all in my heart.
[Feb 2019]
Shut up Huffington Post 5 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
Why did I attempt to play this post?
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The Dutch are water benders 11 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
It’s interesting that when they talk about the Dutch using water technology ‘for both good and evil’, only evil is hyperlinked.
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Edited 6 years ago
Words to live by 2 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
Me: *imagines mid-street* Mr. Paramedic, I swear I put on clean underwear this morning! But I jaywalked and crapped my pants the moment I saw the truck that hit me and left me a blind, bloodied quadriplegic!
Me: *imagines explaining dirty underwear to a paramedic* *keeps going to crosswalk*
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Me: *imagines explaining dirty underwear to a paramedic* *keeps going to crosswalk*
This is my life now 4 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
I’m shocked to say this but I... I think this actually happened: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/beauty-hair/news/a49546/stuck-bath-tub-coconut-oil/
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It was 7:30 am. I was working on an essay, just said hi to be polite, and this happened 7 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
You’d better reach into your lunch bag, hand her your yogurt, and tell her you have an essay to finish.
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title 2 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
This is funnier when you remember that Toys R Us was so broke that all it had left to give was pleasant memories and then it disappeared.
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The metamorphosis of an angel 1 comments
He could’ve been switched at birth 12 comments
I'm lovin' it 5 comments
Well... This is.. Bad. 25 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
The last two keep me in a state of permanent adolescence.
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Edited 6 years ago
This will help you find it 2 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
Prostate is short for the Prophetic Statements you’ll make when you invite Jesus to come into the deepest, darkest parts of you.
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What 23 years of using your stuff toy will look like 10 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
I understand what you mean about trying not to be judgmental. But, wow, if I went on a first date and they propped a ratty stuffed toy on the dinner table and said, ‘oh, don’t mind Mr. Flopsy, I take him everywhere’ then my first thought certainly wouldn’t be ‘I wonder where we should go on our second date.’
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Edited 6 years ago
What 23 years of using your stuff toy will look like 10 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
I’m less concerned about the condition of the rabbit and more concerned that you see no red flags about dating a 23-year old who keeps a stuffed toy with her at all times.
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We really should 36 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
Sometimes I feel like 2018 is just a really category-specific 2016 for celebrity passings and Death is like ‘let me just try to squeeze them all in real quick before the end of the year and maybe nobody will notice.’
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It also works for squirrels 9 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
Bird #1: *taps mirror suspiciously* Hey, Frank? I once saw a meme that said if you peck a mirror and there’s no gap between your beak and the reflection, that it’s a one-way. Do you think, I dunno, that maybe we’re being watched?
Bird #2: That was a hoax, you nitwit. Now shut up and eat your birdseed in the Magical Concave Reflection Box where our food appears through a trap door each day at 9 am, noon, and 5 pm like clockwork. ISTG, Steve. You think too much.
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Edited 6 years ago
Bird #2: That was a hoax, you nitwit. Now shut up and eat your birdseed in the Magical Concave Reflection Box where our food appears through a trap door each day at 9 am, noon, and 5 pm like clockwork. ISTG, Steve. You think too much.
"whoops..?" 11 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
Why do all of the good stories have to be fake? World News Daily Report is a satirical site. A recent story of theirs is ‘Babysitter Transported to Hospital After Inserting Baby Into Her Vagina’, to give some idea. Can’t trust them for anything more than a laugh. But, oh my goodness, if this were true...
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Edited 6 years ago
Well I know lots of horror stories 60 comments
I call this move the 'Missile Toe'! 6 comments
But at least, you can call it art 5 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
@veryhairybeary As a fellow ‘very hairy beary’, I’d like to offer a view of dissent with no offense intended. Graffiti is a form of art. Ask Banksy. Research early Basquiat. Analyze b-boy culture history. Talk to taggers who attended urban public schools with underfunded art programs. Look at how Asian graffiti artists are blowing up this scene right now. Or, for a real life, immersive experience, come/go to Bogotá. The city is covered in graffiti and it looks like a living, breathing, evolving mural. There’s a fence in BOG that’s guarded 24/7 by security because, if stolen, it would sell for tens of thousands of dollars (which is a lot of money in Colombia). Just because graffiti isn’t ‘traditional art’ or because it’s typically generated by ‘non-traditional artists’ doesn’t mean it’s not art. GOOD graffiti is a specific style that requires observation of good form and personal practice to master. I might be wrong, but that sounds like art to me.
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i present you.. Daily Dose of Cute (ig: @ddoc_fs) 7 comments
granlobomalo
· 6 years ago
I’m certain the original @dailydoseofcute is looking at you wherever she may be with a smile.
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