*walks up to librarian* hey, do you have this book?
*librarian looks at title*
*slides down three levels*
*climbs back up holding book*
Yeah.

One time we tried our cat on a vegan diet, just because she was getting sick on everything else we fed her and desperation was setting in.
It only made her sicker.

I read "small pox" as "small fox" and stared at the screen for five minutes until I finally realized.

Around the universe, then when I come back it'll be the future, and if I looked at the earth from a distance I'd see the past.
Everyone wins!

Can you imagine practicing things like this though?
*tap tap tap CRASH*
"dammit, third one this week."

*makes grabby hands for the life ones*
I need allllllllll of these. For reasons.

And here we see a chain of these elusive creatures, known as Surferus Strongestus, with several males at the back patiently following the lead female. It seems to be a sort of ritual they go through. The female will begin by picking up and incredibly heavy rock and go on a short journey on the ocean floor with it, a sign of strength and endurance. Curious males will begin following to see how long she will last. The crowd often disperses after it is done, and a handful of these males will return later for the next ritual of this sort. At the end of however many get done, the female will have a lifelong mate.

"what's this thing? Is it noms? Can I eats it? I can eats it. Omnomnom."

My cousin can't eat gluten, and one time at Christmas (we didn't know at the time) he had a bunch of twizzlers and was sick for days, because apparently those have a lot of gluten in them, he finally got a test and is a lot healthier now that he doesn't eat it. I can't say I'd voluntarily give it up (although damn those gluten-free graham crackers are delicious) but not everyone has the choice to eat it or not!
(also, part of me wants to make a Nightvale reference, so avoid wheat and wheat by-products as they may turn into highly venomous snakes.)

I guess you could call it a...
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
...ho-ho-homicide.

*hauls out hairdryer*
Gimme.

This happened to me once, I was at a sleepover with a friend and woke up so well-rested you wouldn't believe.
And then I got to go back home to my internet haha goodbye perfect sleep

That's what you think. *sips cranberry juice from skull*

I don't leave the house that often, but I do walk past a mirror at least seven times a day, does that count?

It'd be even creepier if it turned out to NOT be a tattoo...

I think I see it, if you look closely in the lower left corner you can barely make out the outline. It takes a bit of squinting to see it.