MatthewG

matthewg

38, Male, California USA
Currently employed as ER Tech.
Proud father of 2, with a long-distance Boo.

— MatthewG
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Nothing like being stuck on a train full of people who think you're a perv 1 comments
Job hunting irl 17 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Do you enjoy giving fake answers to bullshit questions?
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Father and son decides to get in shape together 8 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
I feel like they're intentionally looking fat in the before, and flexing in the after.
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Don’t worry South Carolina, help is on the way! 2 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
@kakaburra I'm SO glad I never quite made it into South Carolina. :P
Octopus that can transform itself into other animals 1 comments
Even a slight hit to the back of a Giraffe's skull is enough to disrupt the blood supply 4 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Soccer in a nutshell.
1
Back-door solution 2 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
https://nypost.com/2017/08/15/woman-born-without-vagina-raising-money-so-she-can-have-sex-with-boyfriend/
Nah, it's cool. I'll do the 2 second google search. Got you, bro.
Kinda makes this Tom fool appear to be the asshole, doesn't it?
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Please. My BF everyone. Help 15 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Guests have the most interesting sex lives.
1
You had one job! 5 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Following for mean joke.
Of Ffs, this HAD 2 have been Purposefully Done 10 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
So, yeah.
Being on a date with someone doesn't entitle you to sex nowadays, does it? Forgive me, as I'm a bit rusty when it comes to that whole scene.
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Maybe he's a belieber 8 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Noice reference, sinner.
When she exposes your cheating texts with a power point 13 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
You can't even create an account.
How can you ever hope to create an intimate moment with another human being?
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WELL SIGN ME U- oh 3 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
@kakaburra I absolutely ADORE checking your pulse, Dearest.
Fat people should watch more horror movie 7 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
@kakaburra I'm pretty sure the most calories I've ever burned during a movie was during First Man.
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I go to hell to meet my maker 2 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
"best"
"friend"
3
Only the strong will survive 10 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
You can land on mine, if you like... ;)
What I want 17 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
You have a very passive aggressive way of trying to make your points.
Savage tony 8 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
If it makes you feel better.
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What I want 17 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
What a weird way to try to make a point.
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Savage tony 8 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Intentionally missing the point is just as bad as missing the point.
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I take too much to heart 8 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Must you downthumb me EVERY time?
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Only the strong will survive 10 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
I remember fun minor childhood injuries.
Lots of hydrogen peroxide bubbles, too.
3
It’s a phase 9 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
I TOTES get you.
Awesome wording.
Love your commentz.
Friendsies!
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Literally 9 minutes later 18 comments
Literally 9 minutes later 18 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Aw, you know that was the most predictable joke.
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