matthewg comments - FunSubstance

matthewg

38, Male, California USA
Currently employed as ER Tech.
Proud father of 2, with a long-distance Boo.

— MatthewG

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The pettiness always makes me laugh (so I made a petty meme about it) 17 comments

matthewg · 5 years ago

Is your dad a time traveller???

*notices shotgun* UwU 3 comments

matthewg · 5 years ago

I don't get it.

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Elasmotheriam(Siberian Unicorn) that was extint about 39000 years ago 7 comments

matthewg · 5 years ago

Not everything with one corn is a unicorn. *smh*

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Church wars 3 comments

matthewg · 5 years ago

How in the Heck did this become about rocks???

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I've seen people pass out drunk, but how does this happen? 2 comments

matthewg · 5 years ago

When you have laser mode puke and are prepared.

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Either way, a load explodes 10 comments

matthewg · 5 years ago

It's all fun and games until the next American child shoots his classmates.

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When pupper has more game than you 6 comments

matthewg · 5 years ago

Why use many word, when many word maek FSer uncomportable?

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A glitch in the matrix 8 comments

matthewg · 5 years ago

I understood that reference.

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Something wholesome 8 comments

matthewg · 5 years ago

I don't say this often of guests, but....you think correctly.

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“Olé” 9 comments

matthewg · 5 years ago

"Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe, for more inane nonsense!"

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Love how he’s laughing 2 comments

matthewg · 5 years ago

They were inexperienced.
They had to put their heads together in order to blow away the competition.

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Not spicy enough for Gordon 2 comments

matthewg · 5 years ago

Calm down.
Let people enjoy foods.

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This bird tho 3 comments

matthewg · 5 years ago

Do you also work in an emergency room?

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Niel and feel 4 comments

matthewg · 5 years ago

No idea why I'm getting Mr. Bean vibes, but there's definitely here.

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Kind of makes you feel bad about it 5 comments

matthewg · 5 years ago

Try to picture an adult human who can maneuver an automobile through traffic, but painted lines on the ground baffle them.

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good idea 7 comments

matthewg · 5 years ago

@kakaburra Mashed potatoreos?
I can think of worse snacks.

What yours? 20 comments

matthewg · 5 years ago

Luckily the statute of Eating My Ass is set for 5 seconds, so looks like I get Mars, suckers!

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This terrifies me 3 comments

matthewg · 5 years ago

I agree.
God bless the United States military.

After 5,111 days (56 times the expected lifespan), Earth's favorite space robot may 12 comments

matthewg · 5 years ago

"Fespects"

Treadmills 8 comments

matthewg · 5 years ago

This genuinely makes me sad.

El Arroyo at it again 11 comments

matthewg · 5 years ago

That's the reason "unplanned" jokes are funny? They're universally relatable.