mrscollector
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They first have to sleep their buzz off 5 comments
mrscollector
· 4 years ago
My Uncle Har had a buddy that had a problem. See every night his back yard garden would be tore up. Plants up rooted and fence pulled out of the ground.
My Uncle looked at his buddy's yard and said I know what is happening but you won't believe me. So he tells the guy put up a security camera and he see.
Sure enough after everyone went to be a family of boar came out of the pasture behind his house and sat under a fruit tree the guy had and ate all the fruit off the ground.
Problem is during the day the fruit in the hot sun fermented and became alcohol. That guy had a family of drunk off their ass boar tearing up his whole garden.
The next day he went to my Uncle and said I put up the cameras. My uncle cut him off and said SO how many Boars was there?
lmao
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My Uncle looked at his buddy's yard and said I know what is happening but you won't believe me. So he tells the guy put up a security camera and he see.
Sure enough after everyone went to be a family of boar came out of the pasture behind his house and sat under a fruit tree the guy had and ate all the fruit off the ground.
Problem is during the day the fruit in the hot sun fermented and became alcohol. That guy had a family of drunk off their ass boar tearing up his whole garden.
The next day he went to my Uncle and said I put up the cameras. My uncle cut him off and said SO how many Boars was there?
lmao
Kill all the humans 3 comments
Typical cat...! 4 comments
what 8 comments
mrscollector
· 4 years ago
It says it was all over its tummy and neck so chances are the bastard held it there till it harden.
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Keeps ya thinking 6 comments
mrscollector
· 4 years ago
In high school one of my best friends was named Karen. And she was NOT her name lol.
She was like a mouse. We went out to eat and they gave her french fries but no burger. I said go tell them they forgot your burger. She just said no its ok. I said NAH UGH YOU PAID FOR THAT! I walked up there and very sweety said " Hi yes we just got our food and my friend didn't get her burger." They apologized and gave me her burger. I handed it to her.
I had to do that stuff for her alot lol.
And I AM NOT A KAREN! lmao I am always kind to people who work in those jobs. Unless they give me attitude than I go postal.
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Edited 4 years ago
She was like a mouse. We went out to eat and they gave her french fries but no burger. I said go tell them they forgot your burger. She just said no its ok. I said NAH UGH YOU PAID FOR THAT! I walked up there and very sweety said " Hi yes we just got our food and my friend didn't get her burger." They apologized and gave me her burger. I handed it to her.
I had to do that stuff for her alot lol.
And I AM NOT A KAREN! lmao I am always kind to people who work in those jobs. Unless they give me attitude than I go postal.
The only one who benefits from salary secrecy is your boss 30 comments
mrscollector
· 4 years ago
Actually my own Dad lost his Job as a State Fire Marshal due to budget cuts. And they cut all the higher paid employees. He was the highest. When they knocked on his door of his office he already knew what was coming so he said I retire. Lol they had to pay a shit ton of benefits and such all because he said he wanted to retire before he was "let go". If he was "let go" he would of had to clean out his office that minute. But because he retired he had a whole 6 months till he had leave.
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what 8 comments
mrscollector
· 4 years ago
It was rubber cement some bastard glued her to the road. I thought like you as well that maybe she was stuck to melted asphalt. But nope some son of a bitch used rubber cement.
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Edited 4 years ago
Good morning, beautiful. Be kind to yourself today 5 comments
mrscollector
· 4 years ago
I actually do this every time I look in the mirror even if I know the reflection is dead on ugly lol. Some mornings is not kind to a mom who is getting old lol
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Party games for the modern renaissance man 7 comments
mrscollector
· 4 years ago
My 2 older brothers used to actually play this.
See they didn't do the 2 people in the closet. No they just turned off the lights and everyone was to beat the shit out of each other for 5 minutes. The goal was to not get found or be the one who beat up the most people.
Now I don't remember this thank God but apparently my Mom won a once because when I was just a toddler I went to my brothers room and fell asleep behind an arm chair they had. They had no idea I was there and started to play the game. It took a couple rounds till my 2nd oldest brother found me and assumed I was a friend or our brother. He instantly started to full fist punch me. But after the 2nd punch I woke up and started to cry. It made him stop dead in his tracks. They all did. He yelled turn on the lights. And the minute he saw I had a black eye he knew his life was over.
He had to take me to mom. She beat all of their asses. My brothers AND their friends. They never played that again
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See they didn't do the 2 people in the closet. No they just turned off the lights and everyone was to beat the shit out of each other for 5 minutes. The goal was to not get found or be the one who beat up the most people.
Now I don't remember this thank God but apparently my Mom won a once because when I was just a toddler I went to my brothers room and fell asleep behind an arm chair they had. They had no idea I was there and started to play the game. It took a couple rounds till my 2nd oldest brother found me and assumed I was a friend or our brother. He instantly started to full fist punch me. But after the 2nd punch I woke up and started to cry. It made him stop dead in his tracks. They all did. He yelled turn on the lights. And the minute he saw I had a black eye he knew his life was over.
He had to take me to mom. She beat all of their asses. My brothers AND their friends. They never played that again
My Dumb ass 3 comments
mrscollector
· 4 years ago
Maybe it only worked when you link it up to the helmet so that no normal person could call his Zord.
I was so wasted at a club that I kissed everybody ramdomly and slept with someone who was 10 comments
mrscollector
· 4 years ago
He swore never again would he get drunk in public again.
Though he stayed buddy's with the guy. Lol He was even a groomsman in my brothers wedding.
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Though he stayed buddy's with the guy. Lol He was even a groomsman in my brothers wedding.
I was so wasted at a club that I kissed everybody ramdomly and slept with someone who was 10 comments
mrscollector
· 4 years ago
For my 2nd oldest brother was when he was working as a bouncer. He would be a bouncer for a bunch of clubs even the gay bars.
So he and his friend Bubba were working at a gay bar and this big guy kept hitting on my brother. My brother told him even though he is extremely flattered he just wasn't my brother's type. The guy said it was ok but insisted to buy him a few rounds. My brother agreed. They talked about bikes, trucks, and both had cb radios. Turns out they talked before. My brother said he was a real cool guy. He kept getting my brother drinks and eventually he was drink off his ass. Some point he ended up on the dance floor. And a slow song came on. My brother is 6'6 big buff bald leather jacket biker guy. The other was bigger taller and cuddling my brother as if he was a child. His friend Bubba had to rescue him before he started bating for the other team. (His words)
My brother said all he could remember is this big beautiful woman nibbling on his ear.
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So he and his friend Bubba were working at a gay bar and this big guy kept hitting on my brother. My brother told him even though he is extremely flattered he just wasn't my brother's type. The guy said it was ok but insisted to buy him a few rounds. My brother agreed. They talked about bikes, trucks, and both had cb radios. Turns out they talked before. My brother said he was a real cool guy. He kept getting my brother drinks and eventually he was drink off his ass. Some point he ended up on the dance floor. And a slow song came on. My brother is 6'6 big buff bald leather jacket biker guy. The other was bigger taller and cuddling my brother as if he was a child. His friend Bubba had to rescue him before he started bating for the other team. (His words)
My brother said all he could remember is this big beautiful woman nibbling on his ear.
I was so wasted at a club that I kissed everybody ramdomly and slept with someone who was 10 comments
mrscollector
· 4 years ago
My Dad had to pull her off the table and have 2 other guys help him get her to the car.
Since than every time we go anywhere with her and they ask if she like a real drink every one of us say NO NO SHE WILL NOT!!!
LMFAO
She just giggles and says BUT I WANT TO DANCE!!
lol
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Since than every time we go anywhere with her and they ask if she like a real drink every one of us say NO NO SHE WILL NOT!!!
LMFAO
She just giggles and says BUT I WANT TO DANCE!!
lol
I was so wasted at a club that I kissed everybody ramdomly and slept with someone who was 10 comments
mrscollector
· 4 years ago
This is my Mom's story and why she is NEVER allowed to drink in public.
It was her anniversary so my Dad took her out to a nice restaurant/bar a few towns over. Really it was a bar with great food. Anyways my mom who is not a heavy drinker decides fuck it. She's been pregnant for nearly two years straight because she just gave birth to my second oldest brother and my oldest brother and him are only 11 months apart in age. So she decides to get one of the big drinks one of those very fruity umbrella drinks but this one happens to have not one not two but three Coronas in it and 4 shots of tequila. It's meant for two or more people my mom decided she would drink it by herself and by the time the food had barely just came out she was drunk off her ass. The bar just happened to have a live band. And my mom decided the best place to dance is on the table they were eating on and that her clothes were the reason why she had trouble dancing. So she decided to start stripping.
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It was her anniversary so my Dad took her out to a nice restaurant/bar a few towns over. Really it was a bar with great food. Anyways my mom who is not a heavy drinker decides fuck it. She's been pregnant for nearly two years straight because she just gave birth to my second oldest brother and my oldest brother and him are only 11 months apart in age. So she decides to get one of the big drinks one of those very fruity umbrella drinks but this one happens to have not one not two but three Coronas in it and 4 shots of tequila. It's meant for two or more people my mom decided she would drink it by herself and by the time the food had barely just came out she was drunk off her ass. The bar just happened to have a live band. And my mom decided the best place to dance is on the table they were eating on and that her clothes were the reason why she had trouble dancing. So she decided to start stripping.
I was so wasted at a club that I kissed everybody ramdomly and slept with someone who was 10 comments
mrscollector
· 4 years ago
I have 2 more good ones if y'all want to see. One is of my Mom and another is of my 2nd oldest brother.
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Edited 4 years ago
I was so wasted at a club that I kissed everybody ramdomly and slept with someone who was 10 comments
mrscollector
· 4 years ago
He ripped yes ripped off his shirt and tried to pull his pants off but tripped on his belt hit the truck face first and landed in his own waste. Knocking himself out cold.
My 2nd to oldest got him some of his clothes and cleaned him up.
My 2nd youngest brother kept saying he needs to go home. My 2nd oldest brother said AH HELL NO you are NOT going home for Mema (our grandmother who lived with us) to WHOOP my ass for getting you drunk. We are going to Burger King and getting you some greasy ass food than you can go.
Lmao
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Edited 4 years ago
My 2nd to oldest got him some of his clothes and cleaned him up.
My 2nd youngest brother kept saying he needs to go home. My 2nd oldest brother said AH HELL NO you are NOT going home for Mema (our grandmother who lived with us) to WHOOP my ass for getting you drunk. We are going to Burger King and getting you some greasy ass food than you can go.
Lmao
I was so wasted at a club that I kissed everybody ramdomly and slept with someone who was 10 comments
mrscollector
· 4 years ago
So I don't really drink. Gives me a head ache and I hate the taste. BUT I have plenty of family who do lmfao.
Ok 2nd to youngest brother. Was officially 21 and my 2nd to oldest made him some crown royal and coke. My 2nd to youngest brother drank the first and asked for another. (There was only 1 shot to 1 can soda.) 2nd oldest told him how to make it and said have at it.
About an hour or so later my 2nd to oldest brother CAN'T FIND my 2nd to youngest brother.
He goes outside looking and sees a body laying in the grass by his truck. It is my 2nd to youngest brother. Pants around his ankles shirt off laying in vomit and shit out cold.
Apparently he went outside to puke because he drank not 2 or 3 but 8 crown and coke. He had planned to have his hands on the side of the truck for support while he puked but vomited all over himself and shit him self during the violent vomiting.
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Ok 2nd to youngest brother. Was officially 21 and my 2nd to oldest made him some crown royal and coke. My 2nd to youngest brother drank the first and asked for another. (There was only 1 shot to 1 can soda.) 2nd oldest told him how to make it and said have at it.
About an hour or so later my 2nd to oldest brother CAN'T FIND my 2nd to youngest brother.
He goes outside looking and sees a body laying in the grass by his truck. It is my 2nd to youngest brother. Pants around his ankles shirt off laying in vomit and shit out cold.
Apparently he went outside to puke because he drank not 2 or 3 but 8 crown and coke. He had planned to have his hands on the side of the truck for support while he puked but vomited all over himself and shit him self during the violent vomiting.
Anybody remembers this dream team? 3 comments
Anybody remembers this dream team? 3 comments
mrscollector
· 4 years ago
OMYGOD I LOVE POLICE ACADEMY!!!
Honest to God Steve Guttenberg was SO HOT in those little shorts lol.
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Honest to God Steve Guttenberg was SO HOT in those little shorts lol.
Being historically illitirate to own the libs 36 comments
You can't contain me 6 comments
mrscollector
· 4 years ago
This reminds me of the story of the kid that tried to escape his class by scooting all the way to the parking lot in the time out bucket.
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Like.. Seriously 4 comments
mrscollector
· 4 years ago
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCX0lD0ko1fl_RlYTeu40Trw
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKrPwTgZuqZhMSGYeTb_Zpw
These 2 are the ones I am subscribed to.
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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKrPwTgZuqZhMSGYeTb_Zpw
These 2 are the ones I am subscribed to.
We always watch the ones from last year while we wait for night time to shoot off new fireworks. And since we went to Disneyland last march and they had fireworks we are going to watch those as well.
We also watch old videos of ones that are our favorites.
It is our family tradition.