PurplePumpkin

purplepumpkin


I'm almost always on the internet, and when I'm not I'm either reading, writing or serving my furry master (the one pictured, I'm not THAT weird).

— PurplePumpkin Report User
21 century pick-up lines 3 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
Every time I see this pic it makes me think of Dan Bacon. I wonder what he thinks of memes though, I bet it's not alpha enough for him.
Books 2 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
That's what I've been doing today! Emotional bonds were indeed formed, and I've been living as a detective and a XVIIth century marquise. No devastation though!
By the way I love these, thanks a lot for posting them (and letting us -or at least me- discover it)!
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Grinds my gears every time 3 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
I did outrun a bus once, it was quite a short distance, Icut a curb, and he hit a red light. Almost got hit by a car and ripped my lungs out though.
But once I was waiting at the crosswalk just in front of the bus stop for the pedestrians light to turn green, the driver saw me, I made a hand motion for him to wait, and he knew what it meant as I take the bus every morning... The light turned green, I was about 1m away from the door when he drove off. I cursed that bitch with all my heart that morning.
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That's beautiful 11 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
Who wouldn't fear gigantic 2-headed spiders?
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Dodging bullets like Neo 2 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
"Thanks" to a friend I can't see "manwhore" without having this song pop in my head : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMlJeLzW5z8
Enjoy having this stuck in your ears!
Friendly neighbours 3 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
"our trust is based solely on proximity" is my way of thinking and the reason I don't get this set of customs. (we don't have it where I live, even though recently some stuff like Neighbour's day emerged). That feels so weird and artificial.
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If that's what you want 10 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
I was convinced he was gonna end up in an uncomfortable situation involving his mother's ladyparts... He's luckier in the cartoon.
16 · Edited 14 weeks ago
Mi novio 15 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
My friend blindly trusts drivers to stop respectfully, as this is what they're supposed to do. Whereas I grew up in a bad neighbourhood where speeding and not stopping at crosswalks is no biggie as it wasn't their cars anywaysand the police was scared of our drug dealers.
I don't get his trust, and he doesn't get why I always wait for cars to stop and make a "thank you" hand gesture.
1 · Edited 14 weeks ago
Why do stars flicker? Does the basement furnace have a soul? Why does mommy kiss the 2 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
This makes me want to get that app.
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This is kind of impressive actually 4 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
*pats head* oh no, we're gonna scare dogs together.
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*angry slurping* 1 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
Do you remember the joke "The new iPhone can suck my dick! - Wow I can't believe how far technology has come"? ...Well it's not a joke anymore.
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It happened to all of us 2 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
A guy in my class called a male teacher mom...we were in 5th year of college. (The teacher replied "yes, honey?" in a caricaturally feminine voice)
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Filming African wildlife at night with thermal infrared camera 4 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
The kitty at the end was so cute! *majestic jump* "uh oh I missed... Guess I'll just...sit there like nothing happened. It's not like anyone saw me anyways."
7 · Edited 14 weeks ago
Damn the French 3 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
Also at some points we ate rats.
And the best (well...not for those who ingested it) comes from the XIXth century, when chemistry was seen as the future of food and poor people wanted to eat stuff they normally couldn't, such as jam. To reduce producing cost, they would put bark, glue, paper, cotton... inside. Because of the sugar, the taste was ok.
I've read that in a book about XIXth century food industry and there were wilder things in there that I don't quite remember, I'll try to fetch back my notes.
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Weak disastrous somber Rhinoceros 7 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
We've actually been created by the power of the dreams of all the people who've seen Ratatouille.
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"I brought you into this world and I can take you out!" 3 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
And then you have my mom "I'm so sorry to have given you birth. Life is a bitch, I shouldn't have done that to you because you're so sweet".
(context : My mom loves me and she knows we can talk about everything, including dark thoughts)
2 · Edited 14 weeks ago
This is kind of impressive actually 4 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
It's supposed to be a shaming thing, but with that little killer face it's more of a badass warning.
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Imagine being this good 4 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
My local baker noticed when I went to college because her cream puff sales took a sharp decline... Now she asks my mom how I am every day, and every holiday I get a free cream puff and other pastries^^
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The big sneak 2 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
How do you even pretend to be Switzerland?
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Old but gold? 1 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
ok I didn't know it so it's just gold to me.
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Not mine but still funny 3 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
Wasn't that only his dad Joseph?
Butt pucker 10 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
How the fuck could the universe conceal this hilarious piece of information from me for 21 years?? Now I'm picturing these grumpy grandpas trying to keep frowning when there's a huge "POP!" every time they stand back up.
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My brother made a grill out of a gas bottle, what do you guys think about it? 7 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
This is absolutely amazing. Sometimes bots do post quality content, gotta admit that.
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Hufflepuff for life *dab* 6 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
I'm officially Ravenclaw but that Hufflepuff quote is me irl and I don't like it one bit.
Looks like someone ordered a new AMD fan 2 comments
purplepumpkin · 14 weeks ago
Why does this truck bear my boyfriend's name?
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