the_average_gatsby
Likes: music, wrenching, booze, and using my considerable catalogue of traumas to make deeply upsetting black comedy
— The_average_Gatsby Report User
The guide 30 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 8 years ago
Marshall... headphones? Holy shit I never thought I'd need something so bad
I hope it will come 40 comments
A cut from an obsidian blade. The blade is so sharp it cuts on a cellular level. 56 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 8 years ago
That is badass. Imagine if they could make surgical blades out of that shit.
10
Plz send help 3 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 8 years ago
*stumbles out of the dorms and throws fists to the sky*
"FINALS ARE OVER!!!
*falls flat on face*
.
.
.
I failed my English comp final :'(
3
"FINALS ARE OVER!!!
*falls flat on face*
.
.
.
I failed my English comp final :'(
The only appropriate response to spilled guinness, rip 6 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 8 years ago
I was just making a joke, wasnt trying to shit on bagpipes. I really wish there was a way to make typed sarcasm stand out, like a font or something
5
·
Edited 8 years ago
The only appropriate response to spilled guinness, rip 6 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 8 years ago
I'm not sure which is worse, wasting a drink or having to endure amazing grace played on bagpipes
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Thank you, billions of years of evolution 25 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 8 years ago
I apparently won the teeth lottery with mine. Came in straight with no issues
14
Nobody expects it 10 comments
Nobody expects it 10 comments
Nobody expects it 10 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 8 years ago
Our chief weapon is surprise, surprise and fear, fear and surprise. Our two weapons are fear and surprise, and ruthless efficiency. Our THREE weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency, and an almost fanatical devotion to the pope. Our FOUR...no...AMONGST our weapons... amongst our weaponry are such elements as fear, surprise... I'll come in again
1
New and Improved Version (trust me here) 5 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 8 years ago
*Dances around petstore singing this while wearing a boa as a boa
6
Earth is in deep shit now 15 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 8 years ago
Even if its just one species, it should still warrant more concern than some kardashian drama bs
18
I feel my half-life senses tingling 10 comments
Link in comments 75 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 8 years ago
Even after we choose to fuck ourselves, Obama's still lookin out. Can't we just keep him?
25
So four engineers get into a car 2 comments
No one is safe... 11 comments
the_average_gatsby
· 8 years ago
I mean it's happened before, back with Dewey and Truman. Still kinda suspect though.
7
I know I would 21 comments
Tea is not leaf juice 13 comments
Tea is not leaf juice 13 comments
