Do you have a second to speak about dear Lucifer??

He just wants to build a snowman..

Very creative, Lucifer

I love minions. Just wanted to say that. I just bought a new 3D minion case for my iPhone. They're so cute!

Sorry everyone I've been pretty busy.. Torturing people has become a lot more work lately.

Master! I hope you have been torturing properly...

Hey isn't there also a satan on this site?

There is only one and that is me.

I'm pretty sure there is a user on here called satan.

Yup, there is. Wait til they come face to face, well, username to username, It'll be priceless.

I gave them the link to this post

Oh, him. We have already met. *scowls*

Are you trying to start problems? Minion.

I am the only Satan! The only true ruler of Hell! As everyone should know Lucifer is my angel name, So he therefore must be an angel.

I'm so confused! Which is my true master?!

No idea super.

I am so confused... I need master! But which is true master?!

I volunteer. There would be no confusion at least

That would be me if you wish to be a demon minion. Or him if you wish to be a fluttery repulsive angel.

Angels are the devil. Have you seen the Doctor Who episode entitled 'Blink'. Lucifer, Satan, Debate! Which one gets the powerful and quite smart fangirl as faithful servant? I need a master!!!!!!!

Demons are much more fun...

Demons are fun... >:)

Yes they are.

I do agree. Definitely.

I do enjoy creating mass chaos...

Yes, Bieber was a fine example of my creations.

You created Bieber? Now tell me... Is it a girl?

Okay okay.. If you're the real ruler of hell. Where's your STAR!
-shots fired

You know, I'm kinda on Luci's side. He said he's taking Bieber back with him.

Satan said he created Bieber.. Why would I create something like that? My job's to punish evildoers not create them. That's hades' job

Bieber was a creation gone wrong to be honest. I think it may be a girl.

Well this is awkward

Well. Isn't it getting hot in here?

It's hot as *dramatic pause* hell.

A third one? Really?

Pretty much lucifer already taken over the hell here..

What's with all these imitations? Make copy machines for a living would ya? I'm taking you all to hell with me later

I just had a sudden urge to hug Lucifer.. Am I okay?

But which is master?! I need master!

I am master. You may hug me btw sparkly. Not too long though I might take you to hell

I WANT TO HUG LUCIFER!

OMG THIS IS SUCH AN HONOR. *hugs Lucifer*
http://funsubstance.com/fun/118892/dont-leave-me/
EDIT: sorry, I meant Oh my Lucifer<3

I'll be hosting a hug session for all who believe in me & have supported me in making this world a better place through sin.

When will this hug session be?

Sparkly! Never forget! & it'll be held now!

WOOO

But nobody ever hugs me.

I will.

*hugs pebble* at least someone cares about the devil

Holy Hell o_o

Hell is not Holy.

It can be from a certain perspective

You are not the devil you little minion.

Excuse me but last time I checked I was done with name lucifer you little imposter

I will torture you for eternity

*Eternity.

You can never escape your past nor can you torture me for I am the bringer of sin & those who oppose me shall perish into oblivion.

HAIL THE LORD LUCIFER!

SATAN, MY NAME IS SATAN, LUCIFER IS THE GODDAMN ANGEL!

Sorry satan, but lucifer already control the funsubstance..and hell.. When theres a post about demon he comment first.. :P

I don't have time for this pathetic human shit. I'm done. *smashes computer*

Oh sorry satan.. Did i break your data about all of the people in hell?

Lucifer is a whinny angel with daddy problems. He couldn't hurt me no matter how hard he tried. His arrogance fools him. The thought of him trying to torture me makes me laugh uncontrollably. The silly child is running around saying those who oppose him shall perish. It's hilarious.

Damn just got downvoted by these two demon.. I'm just joking bro. Don't just take it to seriously..

(In Mormon voice) But dear sirs, do you have a moment to talk about our LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST?

*whispers to everyone else* watch as I confuse the mormon. *to mormon* yes come on in. :-D

(Mormon voice) I've never actually gotten this far before. Now what?

*whispers to everyone else* watch as I go for the kill *to mormon* please come in sit down can I get you anything to eat, drink?

All hell is frozen and there are pigs flying stop now it's really cold down here

Sup guys! :D

You must be cold here have a blanket hell *gives hell a warm blanket* c'mon warm up and we will get back to torturing souls.

Yeah we gotta keep Hell warm.

Yep. If Hell is frozen then there is no place I torture them with fire.

WE torture them with fire, I knew I shouldn't have gotten a room mate.

But, I thought human souls were the fuel for the fire.. We just need more recruits is all.

What if the afterlife is just like in South Park? The only ones in Heaven are Mormons, Satan is openly gay (keep in mind that this is just a what-if), and God is some sort of platypus thing?

Sorry I used the wrong pronoun Satan. I could never torture all these souls if it weren't for you. *hugs satan* also, let's see I abagofpotatoes is right. Are you gay?

Its alright bro. I'm not gay, just saying.

Hm. I guess the afterlife isn't like South Park thought it would be then. Not exactly at least.

Lol

really bro?? you comment on a 14 weeks old just to say lol?!

Wtf I never posted that. Wait...dammit, I bet someone used my computer again and I left this tab open by accident. *murderous glare at sibling*
Revenge will be mine, I assure you, and my deepest apologies for bothering all of you!