If you had

I think he overestimates how much $8 a day is...

"lord forgive me"

Every time you masturbate, or every time you orgasm? One is pretty exploitable. I could probably get about $120/hour with breaks in between.

Damn, I could get the world. You cray, bisH? I'm buying new your greaking house! Gonna get da White House, the black house, the blue house, the effingg Airforce One. Nigga, I buy Bill Gates! Give me that country, and oh, that one too. Dang, I gonna buy the Moon! Gonna fill that bitch up with the waters and but Funsubstance.

*would have

I'd be broke

I wonder if I get two dollars for spewing out blood. I would do it so much my dick would break.

I would have exactly zero dollars

Hmmmm if I add up the numbers...

Realistically, I can buy like 90 something boxes of eggo waffles.

I'm broke
But I was watching Adam ruins everything and he said we masturbate every day of our lives so $5110