oorrr we could teach our kids to stand up for others... one person stands up for self against many, will be cut down, many people standing up with one person against many, safe...
That's how massive school yard fights are created. It's like gangs, one vigilante stands for others in the group against a gang member and a few more vigilantes join up. Before you know it, instead of robberies, you now have daily shootouts in the neighborhood
theres a huge difference between standing up for others and fighting... if you teach your kid to go slug someone making fun of another kid, you're doing it wrong.
U.S. military. There is no right answer. But... Someone should smack the bully's f'in parents, and him/herself, regardless.
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· 9 years ago
I agree deviledapple. All it takes it one brave child to say, "stop it" when a kid is being bullied. It takes take punching or anything like. It happened for me and it worked.
When I was in Grade 3, I was bullied by a guy a year older than me. After tiring of his shit, I punched him in his face and broke one of his teeth in half
Never got bullied after
5th grade: This girl took a huge disliking to me; never knew why. She was mean and called me all kinds of names. I was a wall flower; quiet and invisible. So after I had my fill, I CALLED HER OUT. In my day, you didn't bring a knife, gun or a gang to your fight. You both showed up. As I was taking off my sweater, she sucker punched me. I hit her back so hard that her lip cut open. She never even looked at me after that. I'm not one for violence, but when you tried everything else, sadly, that's the only way to get someone off your back. To this day I'm always told I'm too nice..until they see the ugly side of me. Then they say they never want to see that again.
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deleted
· 9 years ago
I learnt self defense because I used to get bullied, lets just say I didn't get picked on anymore...
Teaching your kid not to bully will help, punishing them for bullying, teaching them to stand up for their selves or stand up for others all that will have an impact on bullying more than you think.
you really cannot escape this shit wherever you go can you? every platform is used as a soap box for whatever is offending you today. Y'all need to stop. this place is not very fun anymore.
it depends on the type of bullying. sometimes all it takes is one time standing up, but sometimes thats not safe and you need to go to an authority figure. i was lucky in school, i only needed to stand up once and my worst bully left me be, but i was in a tame progressive place where "bullying" consisted of sometimes stirring up my food and mostly just verbal taunts... much of bullying is more severe and standing up can be risky. there is no one size fits all for these things.
I agree with what you are saying. However my bully beat me with various object and almost broke my back twice and the school did nothing for 3 years this went on untill one day when I had enough and engaged in a huge fist fight in middle of a crowd of people at school. There is not a single cure all to bullying. You might have to try different avenues to make it stop what is important is to never give up.
i for one think theres a pretty big difference between bullying and someone who is beating you with objects and almost breaking your back, that's abuse and assault and actual criminal acts which is a far cry from the actual concept of bullying. once bullying crosses into criminal physical acts, its not just bullying and should not be dealt with in the ways we deal (or, "should be dealing with") with bullying. fuck the school, I'd be calling the police if someone was assaulting me.
maybe thats part of the problem with how we are trying to respond to bullying, we are treating fistfights the same as name calling and other emotional abuses.
Have you ever heard of how violence breeds more violence?
We, as a society, should take responsibility and teach people not to be violent, not in any way, verbal or physical. Have professionals in schools, psychiatrists, whoever, who would deal with bullies (bullies are actually very often victioms of some kind of abuse at home, so... they need help not a punch in the face).
We should not let children (and people in general) to fend for themselves, that's not what society and civilisation is all about. I know the world is and will never be ideal. That doesn't mean we can't make it a bit better.
"teach people not to be violent, not in any way, verbal or physical."
I don't want to live in that world. Violence can be cleansing and entertaining, as well as being an intrinsic part of being alive.
"psychiatrists"
Sure, because those guys are often effective.
"We should not let children (and people in general) to fend for themselves"
Yes, of course, independence is terrible.
So basically you'd like to live in the movie 300 ? Yes? So much fun, having 25% chance of ever reaching adulthood. What a life. Wonder why did that sort of thing go out of fashion centuries ago.
"you'd like to live in the movie 300 ?"
That's quite the stretch, jumping from not wanting an outright purge of all violence to the Battle of Thermopylae.
"why did that sort of thing go out of fashion centuries ago."
Your previous post implies violence is still very much in fashion.
Unless your talking about 300, in which case war itself hasn't really gone out of fashion, just the standard of living of ancient Greece.
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deleted
· 9 years ago
I hate those commercials. Help erase bullying? Bullshit. We should help our children become defensive
Either way or not, pain will remain. All I could say is to move on. No you don't have to forgive and you most definitely in hell don't have to forget it, but just know going forward is the only way life moves: like the great saying, life waits for no one.
The problem as I see it and I do agree at least partially with this post is that politicians tend to force a massive whiplash effect. We go from a few bullies in the schools to laws and rules that make everyone a bully. We've already seen how over zealous School Boards and School Administration have penalized innocent kids for harmless actions simply because they had rules that sorta kinda fit the situation. They were too afraid of stupid politics to let common sense come into play. So we see kids expelled for biting a gun shape out of block of cheese. Can you see how quickly these Anti-bullying laws can turn on the very kids they're supposed to protect? Kids fight. It's not and should never just be accepted but it's a fact. Teaching our kids conflict resolution helps way more than any of these laws. Kids are not logical and they are limited in their reasoning capabilities because their brains are still developing. That doesn't make them stupid, it makes them kids.
the problem with today bully,is it don't stop,,,when I was in school bullying stopped at school,,but with social media bullying extends much farther, you can only push buttons so much before some people just snap
We are a society of easily offended weaklings who were created by participation trophies and the false sense uniqueness instilled upon them by their parents and teachers. We were told we were winners, that we were special instead of being told to BECOME special, to BECOME winners. We've grown up sheltered from the harms of reality rather than being taught to overcome them. So now, as the kids begin to grow older and crawl out from underneath the curtain of security, they are struck with fear when they realize the truth. When they realize that they did NOT win that chess competition, when they realize their grades DO them, when they realize that THEY. AREN'T. SPECIAL. When they realize that there are hundreds who can do the same as them, and thousands who outclass them completely. They realize that the world cannot see their inside, which has been described by their parents as beautiful, and they realize that the only say to succeed is to SHOW the world what you are, what is inside.
Yet many fail. They've never experienced conflict, as those who may have harmed then physically or emotionally were completely removed from their lives. They fail because they CAN'T show the world theirselves, because they cannot handle the burden life puts upon them. To fix this, to make our children succeed in the future, we must show them that this burden exists, that the challenges of this world are very real. We should not remove bullies, but teach children to cope with them. We have to understand that our children cannot mature and success without first struggling. It is unbearable to think of your infant child failing a test, losing a contest, or taking a blow, but we must understand that they will not be infant children forever. They must make a gradual transition into adulthood, not a sharp snap to reality. They must understand what the world has in store for them, before it is too late.
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Edited 9 years ago
deleted
· 9 years ago
8th grade: Don't be an adult. Let your parents make the decisions.
9th Grade: You guys are almost adults now. Shape up or ship out.
Basically
Parents need to understand that to have an average, 50% must be below average. And there isn't anything wrong with a sharp snap to reality, it's the only hope some kids have of dropping the lies their parents heaped on them, like they will never be good enough. Let your parents live with that shit, your dreams CAN come true IF they become your every waking action. Great nations aren't born overnight and neither are great men. Stop blaming others, like bullies or parents, for problems, and learn to get shit done no matter what.
I was bullied quite a bit, and while I'm sure it had a negative effect, and possibly still does, it taught me to have a thicker skin, and what I have to put up with and what I don't. It taught me that I have self-worth, and that nobody can take it from me, and any attempt just proves that those people are in severe need of some for themselves. I don't approve of bullying obviously, but I think since it isn't going anywhere, we can use it to teach lessons that help shape a person and help understand valuable things about themselves. People think bullying is just something kids experience, but adults deal with it too, but we don't call adults bullies, we use slightly more profane words, usually.
I got bullied. I learned self-defense. I got bullied by larger groups of people at a time. Guess what: self-defense doesn't work if you're the odd person out of thirty. So how about we just teach people not to bully?
They need to be taught to stand up for themselves but respect others as well.
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deleted
· 9 years ago
Lets do the same for rape since it is found in thousands of species including humans and cant be stopped! Oh wait, saying that is sexist.
Edit: what I mean is people keep saying that its the victims fault for wearing revealing clothing, and those people are victim blaming idiots, people in retaliation to those idiots say to stop rapists instead of teaching victims how to defend themselves. We need to make an effort for both, to prevent rape and for victims to be able to defend themselves.
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Edited 9 years ago
deleted
· 9 years ago
Im not saying its the victims fault, far from it. But people need to know how to defend themselves.
First of all that's not sexist, that's just insensitive you twat and what I'm getting is if someone is trying to rape you feel free to shoot or stab them. Great, at least we'll get the scum out.
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· 9 years ago
@summer was that directed at me or deviledapple? Anyways, I will edit my comment.
That doesn't normally work, in my experience.
Never got bullied after
Me: *roundhouse-kicks them in the face*
Me: Theres pandas on it.
We, as a society, should take responsibility and teach people not to be violent, not in any way, verbal or physical. Have professionals in schools, psychiatrists, whoever, who would deal with bullies (bullies are actually very often victioms of some kind of abuse at home, so... they need help not a punch in the face).
We should not let children (and people in general) to fend for themselves, that's not what society and civilisation is all about. I know the world is and will never be ideal. That doesn't mean we can't make it a bit better.
I don't want to live in that world. Violence can be cleansing and entertaining, as well as being an intrinsic part of being alive.
"psychiatrists"
Sure, because those guys are often effective.
"We should not let children (and people in general) to fend for themselves"
Yes, of course, independence is terrible.
That's quite the stretch, jumping from not wanting an outright purge of all violence to the Battle of Thermopylae.
"why did that sort of thing go out of fashion centuries ago."
Your previous post implies violence is still very much in fashion.
Unless your talking about 300, in which case war itself hasn't really gone out of fashion, just the standard of living of ancient Greece.
9th Grade: You guys are almost adults now. Shape up or ship out.
Basically
Edit: what I mean is people keep saying that its the victims fault for wearing revealing clothing, and those people are victim blaming idiots, people in retaliation to those idiots say to stop rapists instead of teaching victims how to defend themselves. We need to make an effort for both, to prevent rape and for victims to be able to defend themselves.