If you really feel that way, i would advice you too find someone to talk to. if there isnt one around you that you wanna talk to, feel free to contact me, ill gladly help anyone who needs it.
I'd like to carefully ans sensitively point out that "ready for death" does not mean "seeking death", it just means if death comes alrighty and if it doesn't ok.
For me, ready for death means you don't fear it. You've accomplished your life goals and anything forward is just a bonus. You won't seek it but if you get in a horrible accident you can easily make your peace with whatever God you believe in and can honestly tell yourself that you had a good and fulfilling life and there's nothing else you need to do.
Well...
In any case, I really should have more injuries.