I came out to my parents the day before my dad's birthday.
Dad: "I think you're mistaken."
Mom (when we're alone): "Congratulations on ruining your father's birthday."
Well hon, you definitely got timing. But it could definitely be worse. I went to school with a guy who was from stout old fashioned Chinese family. Not only did they disown him, his mother had a heart attack. She survived but no one in his family was allowed to speak to him. He moved in with a friend's family. I will never understand that mentality. Its your kid, as long as they don't kill or seriously hurt someone, you love them unconditionally.
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On the other hand I totally understand the wife slapping her husband. Don't agree with it, but I can definitely see where it came from. Especially if they had kids.
I think it would be more fair to both parties to say the slap wasn't unwarranted. Looking from the woman's perspective, it's not too much of a stretch to imagine that she felt like he never really loved her.
The only reason I chose to do it then was because my dad wad going out of town the next day, and he'd be gone for a month, and I felt like if I didn't do it then I'd never have the nerve to do it and I wanted it over with. But I do understand why it wasn't the best time. And I also agree with understanding the wife's reaction.
That's what I was thinking. I know girls with Bi boyfriends and they don't seem to care. Then again, I'm a very different generation. But if someone found out the person they committed to was gay and not even attracted to you, that's gotta be tough.
How could you understand the wife slapping her husband? There are plenty of guys who get married before they realise that have same-sex attractions. It's not their fault that they don't realise it beforehand.
I'm not sure why people make a big deal about stuff like this. I actually can't imagine myself being (legitimately) homophobic, that seems like that would take too much energy.
Tyler I'm gay
wow that's kinda weird I never thought you were... eh whatever can I have a snack?
But it's so tiring being angry all the time. I've tried being an angry person and it was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. And all I did was stomp around the house being angry.
This is what makes me too terrified to come out to my parents. I know they'll react poorly, disown me, or God knows what.
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· 8 years ago
I thought my parents were going to when I came out to them. They aren't happy about it, but they want me to be happy even if they disagree with my life choices. Sometimes people can surprise you. And even if it goes poorly, it's better than living in fear. Trust me. It's a huge burden lifted to be able to be honest about who you are.
They keep saying things like "you're a girl who likes to code! Do you have /any/ idea the advantage that gives you? You can use that!"
and just the other day my mom was trying to convince me to wear a dress to a formal event at school, and damn near threw a fit when I wouldn't. She asked me why I 'didn't act more like a girl like I'm supposed to.' I went in slacks and a button down and borrowed a suit jacket from my friend.
"I noticed your friend (name) keeps calling you Lee. Is that because you think you're a boy?" Dad said the other day; and made a comment about it 'being all in their heads' when talking about transgender people.
I'm terrified, frankly. They might kick me out, or worse.
Fruitcakecat, don't let people pressure you into coming out. I'm ftm, and although I hated being in the closet, being out is definitely worse, even if you don't get kicked out. My internet is restricted, my stuff gets looked through, and honestly the things my parents say sometimes border on emotionally abusive. My thoughts about suicide now are more frequent than before I came out. Wait until uni.
That depends on their thoughts on the subject. If they were happy when gay marriage was legalized, or are friends with homosexual people and don't care, it's worth it. This post only focuses on the negative reactions, but that's not always what happens.
they don't know anybody who's not straight and they didn't care at all about gay marriage legalization. There's a huge thing going on in my state right now about transgender people being able to use the bathrooms corresponding to which gender they identify with and my parents have only made negative comments about it so far. I don't think they'll react well.
If I may squeeze my opinion on the trans bathrooms in because I can, here it is.
Nobody will ever care what you think whether it be knowledge or self or socially or anything. Only what you can show. Thus, nobody gives a fuck if you're a female who is "manning". As far as how you interact with the environment, you're still female and you should use the female facilities for as long as you continue interacting with the world as a female.
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Once you've changed, you're now a male because that's what you can show. Now come on in and don't make eye contact while you pee because the wall is so damn interesting.
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Edited 8 years ago
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· 8 years ago
My college has started using gender-neutral bathrooms for transgender people so they don't have to worry about which one to use. I think it's a nice compromise.
I'm afraid to tell my parents I'm asexual. I'm worried they'll be upset with me because i won't 'give them grandchildren' like they've always talked about. even though i have my brother, they still might be upset and i cant deal with that
(i'm actually a user i'm just scared to use my account in case im recognized)
Come on you know we're the most idiotically accepting people ever. We're like Alcoholics Anonymous for sexuality.
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Except for a few of us. Some of us are assholes. But we're fun assholes. Not mean assholes. But there are some mean assholes. I suppose you'd be right to be scared of them but what're they gonna do, internet punch you?
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· 8 years ago
I don't see why it's a bad thing, you could just adopt. That way you don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with, you could give a child in need a good home, and your parents could still have grandchildren. Unless you don't want kids at all?
No, there's people on this site that i know irl (including my mom. though i'm not sure if she reads comments)
but yes, i do not want children and i feel awful every time my parents talk about grandkids. they aren't homophobic people but i know they'll be disappointed
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· 8 years ago
If you don't want children then that's fine. As long as you're happy, they should be happy for you. Not everyone wants or needs children or romance/sex to be happy and that's okay. If they really love you, which if they're good parents I'm sure they do, then they'll understand and love you anyways.
I'm out to just my friends as asexual as I don't really know for sure what my parents' stances on LGBTQA+ are. Like, they were for the legalization of gay marriage but then they made horrible transphobic jokes a week later and I don't know if I should tell them
Hey, other guest, fuck off. People here are trying to bring support and warmth to men and women who suffer everyday from assholes like you rejecting and despising them for their difference. FUCK. OFF.
Seriously how stupid are you guys. They were talking about transphobic jokes so I fucking made one. You guys are the weakest, most overly sensitive Bitches on the planet.
I don't understand how parents could disown their own child because they were gay... That's awful. If my child came out as gay I'd be happy they told me, I wouldn't want them to worry or feel trapped because of it... Love needs to be unconditional from parents and kids when it comes to stuff like this
My father always told me that family is the only one that will love you no matter what, but when they found out about my girlfriend they showed me a whole different face. Im fine staying in my transparent closet until I move out. The only bad part is that Im pan, and Im afraid that if I have a relationship with a man, they will throw the whole "see it was a phase" thing... Ugh
Even if you haven't actually realized it yourself yet? There's many many cases of women not realizing they're lesbians until years into their marriage, and I'm sure the same story occurs for bisexual people also
Captain_Sparrow, I think it depends on whether you don't know or if you're in denial. If they haven't realized it about themselves yet, then you're right and it's totally permissible. But if they're aware, or if they suspect and are in denial and get married to try and "prove that they're straight", that's totally not cool.
Hmmmm maybe? Or maybe they knew but were never comfortable enough with accepting that part of their identity, let alone sharing it with someone else. I don't think you realize how hard it was (and still is in lots of places in the world) to be queer; having to "prove you're straight" might of been the only way this person didn't get assaulted (which did happened when they came out btw), or killed by others or killed themself. Also like I said if they were bisexual and married this woman who they loved, and had only just now come to felt comfortable enough to share that they were queer, hate is last thing they needed. I just fill it's a bit slack to judge a person deserving of physical abuse from a single sentence, there's so much we don't know.
I know how hard it is and that's not the point. I just wouldnt be suprised if news on that kind of life changing scale facilitated a slap. Again, I'm not insinuating that he deserved the slap or justifying violence. I'm just saying that reaction should be expected. I'm sorry because I see how this can be miscontrued, especially when youre only willing to see the gay/bisexual's perspective
When I came out as trans to my mother, I was forbidden to tell my father out of fear he would physically kill me.
My brother had to tell him and I haven't been allowed back home since.
That's so sad, really. :< I'm so glad that my parents are so understanding. Though, I waited for years, until i came out. I was planning on never doing so, but I couldn't stand being fake anymore. All the questions like "When will we have our grandchildren?". It hurts. And I told my mom first. I cried so much. And she just hugged me and said that I'm stupid for worrying so much. She was also angry at me, for not trusting her enough xD Then I wanted to tell my father, but I was too scared. So my mom said she'll do it. I didn't want her to do so, 'cause it's so important, I wanted to tell him myself. But she did so anyway... and my dad just pinched me in the nose... ehhh. I live in a strange, but really loving family. I just wish that everybody could be so lucky :<
I came out to my parents as bisexual when I was 15, about a week after we had a family talk about "we'll love you no matter what, blah, blah, blah"
They told me it was a phase and I'll get over it. I'm now 27 and still like both guys and girls. Happily married to my husband for 2 years now and he knows and accepts me. :)
When I told my family, all of them (Like, even my little sister who was five years old at the time) just looked at me like "And? It's not like we didn't know."
My school however was a completely different thing... Ugh. So many homophobic people.
You have a lovely family robinwolfweb! and your school sucks! Hopefully it'll get better, I have several friends who've come out in the last year and say they've that they haven't gotten bad comments or reactions.. so there are people out there who understands.. "normalt funtade människor liksom"...
Just let me know if you want backup rebeccawolfweb! (And just cause most schools are like that doesn't mean all are.. really from age 15 until now ( Waaaay old) I've had close friends who are openly gay, and they didn't get picked on in school, they kissed their girlfriend in the school hallway, they brought their boyfriend to prom. It is possible so fingers crossed it does get better)
Last one. I am becoming vegetarian and i though to my hispanic parents it is almost like coming out. Lol. To people actually coming out. If others have a problem with it. It is their problem!
I think this post enumerates only negative examples because people take happy ends for granted and do not share them with anybody, I believe there are more reasonable and loving parents, here are just the worst samples of parenthood(((
Did your data support your hypothesis
-yes
If no, what is your new hypothesis considering your newly acquired data?
-[blank]
How would you structure your new experiment to account for your new hypothesis?
-Well...I really don't need to considering my hypothesis doesn't need to be renewed...
How could the experiment be improved?
Kid that did it right - more samples.
Kid that did it wrong - doing it right, making it harder to mess up, more samples.
I told my mom and she got so pissed off and told me to never tell anyone else until I'm out from under her roof
Around two months later now
No fucks given. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
When I came out as a lesbian my parents basically said not to label myself and that its a 'belief'. I won't be able to date girls until I move out. My friends, on the other hand, have been very supportive so I guess that makes up for it.
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· 8 years ago
This is so sad. I'm heterosexual, but I support homosexuals and all that I wanna say is this is horrible because if you wanna be whatever you want be, it's okay because is your choice and is up to you to do whatever you want. I don't know, I'm feeling sad for those who didn't have any support of his community/family/friends.
When I came out my Father put me the hospital and my mum threatened to divoce if he ever said anything even remotely mean to me. (I have 3 brothers, 2 of which are gay but are too scared to come out after what happened to me) He doesn't speak to me anymore but my hardcore Christian grandmother is the best supporter I have
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· 8 years ago
I'm sorry that your father was awful, but I'm glad to hear that you had other family members who were kind and supportive.
Hmmmmmmm but it isn't? Homosexual behaviors have been documented in many many mammal species and other animal species. Bonobo monkeys are one of our closest relatives and frequently engage in Homosexual behaviors. More so homosexual people have been around just as long as heterosexual people.
At the risk of beating, lynching, and raping the dead horse, I'd like to say that "otherkin" tendencies are "not normal" in the sense that "you're delusional" and "not physically possible".
Being straight is normal in that sense: that the majority of the population identify as it, but its important to remember that being lgbtqai isn't unnatural (which I feel like is used interchangeably with abnormal when comparing homosexual people to "normal" straight people).
This breaks my heart, as a mother of 4, I've been asked what I would do if one of my children told me they where gay (especially because my family is Catholic and so is my husbands) and I've always said without any hesitation, that I would love them regardless, because no matter who they choose to love they will always be my babies, and I could never turn my back on them
Well mine weren't so harsh because a minute before I came out I also told them I wanted to blow my head of with a shotgun so I guess it went preeeettyy goood
Exactly!!! That's the way it should be, love no matter who they choose to love. My family is Christian and this happens a lot , it's awful really but this happened in my extended family with my 2nd cousin (my grandfather is his uncle) is gay and his parents disowned him, it's so sad they would do that to their own son... But my grandparents and my parents knew how wrong that was and took him in and basically are the only family that loves him for who he is unconditionally.
Quit being over sensitive pussys the world isn't some huge liberal arts community college , be grateful for the good in your life imagine what other people go through in 3rd world countries on a daily basis. You think you have it so bad because people made fun of you , in most middle eastern cities you would be publicly stoned to death. Suck it up everyone
That's it, no one can be sad ever again anymore unless they are the saddest. Stubbed your toe? Can't be in pain because there's someone out there getting killed right now who is obviously the only one deserving enough to say they're in pain.
Quit being over sensitive pussys the world isn't some huge liberal arts community college , be grateful for the good in your life imagine what other people go through in 3rd world countries on a daily basis. You think you have it so bad because people made fun of you , in most middle eastern cities you would be publicly stoned to death. Suck it up everyone
I have a permanent limp at age 15 and my body is covered in scars, something no one let alone a teenage girl wants. I am grateful but I still wish my father took it better than he did. Mostly as I have two brothers terrified to come out (one of which has a boyfiend of 2 years) because of what he did to me.
Dad: "I think you're mistaken."
Mom (when we're alone): "Congratulations on ruining your father's birthday."
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On the other hand I totally understand the wife slapping her husband. Don't agree with it, but I can definitely see where it came from. Especially if they had kids.
Tyler I'm gay
wow that's kinda weird I never thought you were... eh whatever can I have a snack?
so if anyone needs me ill be stoning people to death
and just the other day my mom was trying to convince me to wear a dress to a formal event at school, and damn near threw a fit when I wouldn't. She asked me why I 'didn't act more like a girl like I'm supposed to.' I went in slacks and a button down and borrowed a suit jacket from my friend.
"I noticed your friend (name) keeps calling you Lee. Is that because you think you're a boy?" Dad said the other day; and made a comment about it 'being all in their heads' when talking about transgender people.
I'm terrified, frankly. They might kick me out, or worse.
Nobody will ever care what you think whether it be knowledge or self or socially or anything. Only what you can show. Thus, nobody gives a fuck if you're a female who is "manning". As far as how you interact with the environment, you're still female and you should use the female facilities for as long as you continue interacting with the world as a female.
-
Once you've changed, you're now a male because that's what you can show. Now come on in and don't make eye contact while you pee because the wall is so damn interesting.
(i'm actually a user i'm just scared to use my account in case im recognized)
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Except for a few of us. Some of us are assholes. But we're fun assholes. Not mean assholes. But there are some mean assholes. I suppose you'd be right to be scared of them but what're they gonna do, internet punch you?
but yes, i do not want children and i feel awful every time my parents talk about grandkids. they aren't homophobic people but i know they'll be disappointed
(I was the original guest btw. Thanks for your support , dolls. It means a lot ^°^)
"What do you mean you'll suck a sausage, but won't eat one?"
My brother had to tell him and I haven't been allowed back home since.
They told me it was a phase and I'll get over it. I'm now 27 and still like both guys and girls. Happily married to my husband for 2 years now and he knows and accepts me. :)
My school however was a completely different thing... Ugh. So many homophobic people.
-yes
If no, what is your new hypothesis considering your newly acquired data?
-[blank]
How would you structure your new experiment to account for your new hypothesis?
-Well...I really don't need to considering my hypothesis doesn't need to be renewed...
Kid that did it right - more samples.
Kid that did it wrong - doing it right, making it harder to mess up, more samples.
Around two months later now
No fucks given. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I don't see people hating you for being straight, now do they?