If you have kids or in school or has to take care of elderly/mentally/physically handicapped relatives, or the man/woman is mentally/physically handicapped or the woman is pregnant or something of this nature. Than one works while the other stays home. If you can pay all your bills that is. And if not than I think both should work that way not all the bills are on one person. Plus if one does not have a job man or woman they should do more house chores than the one with a job.
I'm actually glad this came up. I need a few honest opinions. I'm disabled due to a surgical screw up , so I'm unable to work. I also have a 7yr old Autistic son I take care of before and after school. In addition, I do all the housework and 80% of the cooking. My husband holds a good office job but after he gets home and even on weekends, he will not help me do a single thing. I don't think it's fair.
If you have then ask him if he could at least help with something on the weekend. Start off with something small and if there are no complaints then ask him to do another job, still something small and keep going until he is doing a few jobs. Make sure you work it up slwoly or you will just end up arguing most likely.
It's gotten to where I don't ask anything of him during the week. He has a habit of playing two different games on two different devices and usually I can't get his attention. I don't mind one bit that he plays games but our son should come first. I got him to take our garbage can to the curb this morning and that's the only help I've received over the past week.
To darkmoonlily I should of added if the person has mental or physical problems or has to take care of kids or family members with problems it would only seem fair that they do what chours they can and the one with a job helps pick up the slack or atleast make it less stressful for them to finish the chores.
Do you know any of his friends well? If so then ask if they can speak to him as well. He will probably be embarrassed that someone outside of his family commented on it and start to help out a bit more.
We only have one mutual friend and I wouldn't go that far to call him that. His best friend committed suicide a year and a half ago. Like me, he keeps to himself alot.
Oh goodness. He was the youngest of 9 kids. His Mom was almost 50 when she had him. She passed away on 2009 and his Dad passed laat November at age 89. His brothers and sisters act like they are above us and frankly I don't care for people like that but I appreciate everything you are trying to do for me.
That's okay. If you have the money, maybe try to get a cleaner or someone of the like to come and help out. Even once a fortnight would probably help a lot. I am sorry I can't really offer anymore advice on this but I am always here if you need to talk.
As long as you can support your living situation, who cares!
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· 8 years ago
It's fine that way. If the couple decides they can afford for one person to work and the other to be a housespouse and that's what they want, then go for it. Who cares which one's working and which one's the stay-at-home? It's nobody's business but the couple's anyway.
Tbh I haven't looked into this myself, but a friend of mine says the price of child care often nearly negates the second spouse's income. So I suppose it might depend on what jobs the couple could get and also what child care resources were available to them.
Lots of able bodied people don't work, they're called housewives and househusbands. It's not necessary for them to work, their household is fine with them not working, so they don't. Nor is there a "several thousand year tradition" that encompasses all of humanity. If you weren't wealthy class, women did equal or almost equal work. The only difference now is that they get compensated enough that sometimes their husbands don't have to.
If one person earns enough money to live comfortably, I don't see why the other person needs to. Their time and energy can be put into something else constructive.
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· 8 years ago
Fathers providing food and protection isn't really a thing in humans. Hunter/gatherer groups saw women out gathering food with babies in their backs, subsistence farming involved women and children working fields right with men. You're thinking of a newer economy where income is based on dollars and not physical toil, and even then only higher earning households followed that model while poor families still had the women doing work for money, just not on the same level. Even a few hundred years ago, women were running inns and hauling goods to market alongside husbands, not sitting home with kids. One person at home is a new thing in our history, not a tradition. Nor are men any less driven to be involved with their offspring, and the ones who want to be primary caregivers have that right. Regardless of what TV tells you, men are usually excellent parents.
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Edited 8 years ago
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· 8 years ago
You're sharing your belief that men shouldn't BE the caregivers, because they should be the ones working. But there are plenty of men who ARE excellent caregivers, or even just house maintainers, and who contribute best to their families by taking those roles. Unfortunately there will always be people like you implying they're not living up to a defunct idea of manliness, and making it harder for them to do those things without being judged.
I would say this as I feel it's part of my duty and job to provide for my family and be the breadwinner because it was always ingrained in me. However Whatever agreement other married couples make is entirely up to them. If wife works and husband stays at home it's fine. Or if they both work it's good too. It's all good. I have my way of doing things and other people have their way of doing things.
@youcannotwin:
So, out of curiosity, what is your view on gay/lesbian couples? If they are men should they both work? If women should they both stay home?
End of discussion.
Smh
So, out of curiosity, what is your view on gay/lesbian couples? If they are men should they both work? If women should they both stay home?