Okay, so the dudes from The Three Musketeers - the idealized fictional card-carrying, sword-carrying badasses. You've got Porthos. Built like a barn, served with the Musketeers in two wars, dies the weepiest death in the entire series holding up a FUCKING BOULDER so his friends can escape a cave.
Dude is so goddamn prissy he once threatened D'Artagnan's life because D'Artagnan accidentally saw beneath the back of his cape.... and found out Porthos only had half enough money for a gold-embroidered waistcoat and so bought THE FRONT HALF a gold-embroidered waistcoat and had the back done in cheap cloth.
Then you start reading historical biographies and realize Dumas wasn't actually too far off the mark.
You need to chill. The world is changing. Men won't carry swords forever. The time men carried swords was the time people died at an early age from disease and women were just child-producing factories... atleast his organic salad isn't hurting anyone.
Dude is so goddamn prissy he once threatened D'Artagnan's life because D'Artagnan accidentally saw beneath the back of his cape.... and found out Porthos only had half enough money for a gold-embroidered waistcoat and so bought THE FRONT HALF a gold-embroidered waistcoat and had the back done in cheap cloth.
Then you start reading historical biographies and realize Dumas wasn't actually too far off the mark.