That's not the Christmas spirit

I saw you get pooped out by a rhino so I don’t have to listen to you

That's me. My dad guilt tripped me into buying presents so for the last 6 days I've only been eating cereal and pizza rolls. Ran out if rolls today and bought stuff for ppj

This is why they used to have something called a Christmas Club or Christmas account at many banks. Every payday you paid in a certain amount. This money could only be withdrawn 5 weeks before Christmas but it received double the interest of your savings account. Certain exceptions applied of course. Death, health costs, childbirth. But it gave the bank the opportunity to invest or loan out the money during the year knowing that it wouldn't have to pay out until November.

If you go into debt for Christmas you're mentally challenged

No celebrity should influence you enough that you let your kid die of a preventable disease.

Or give away your most important organ

So don't.

festivals don't feel like festivals anymore, they're just for shopping for things that are on sale and a excuse for staying home

Jim Carrey is gonna kill himself

Says the multimillionaire