What would you do?

Listen here you little shit either you talk or no more treats or belly rubs

Yeah, alright Mr. Snuffles, just take your heart worm pill.

Find the right combo of lsd and shrooms until he starts talking again

I feel like my dog would say more something along the lines of "I love you" and "where have you been you were gone for weeks"

“Good to know.” And then never mention it again.

If?

Punt kick that bitch into another dimension.

This makes the assumption that I actually have people to talk to.