Feels

dude was really reaching for signs all over the fucking place

Worst.
Pickup line.
Ever.

This smells like shit that never happened, but I'll still give this the benefit of the doubt because it's a really beautiful little story and I was completely cutting some onions while I read it.

This man has handcuffs and a shovel in the trunk of his car

Nail GUY???

Pretty sure he says that to every customer just to see their faces.

So....your desire to have her here with you is tying her to the present earthly reality, and not allowing her to go to eternal bliss? Ya selfish bastard.