Should be common sense

Preach. I have met too many who find it amazing when I give them basic kindness or tell them flat out that they are allowed to love themselves. Self-love is so so important and it's difficult for many to accept that it is not selfish or narcissistic to believe you are worth something and to believe your needs are equal to your partners. Encouraging this behaviour and mindset in those who've been brought up to think otherwise is also extremely important to create a foundation of self-respect and general wellbeing.

It would make me nervous as hell if they idealized me like that anyway

I've never been in a relationship where I was treated with any respect, partly why I haven't tried again after my last three fails, then again most people don't have much interest in a single dad.

You'd be surprised how lacking in kindness many are. To me, the idea of a good date is her showing up. I've had "dates" where they just don't show up. No call, no text. Just didn't show up and I never hear from them again. I finally had my first date in 6 years back in June. We talked, saw Solo, talked a bit more. It was nice.