Hey there Delilah, what's it like in Baghdad city

*another natural 1*
Your 37 remaining guitars explode. You're enemy remains unimpressed.

I roll to sing

*natural 2*
Your enemies cover their ears in pain. The ones that have high willpower instead open fire.

I roll to make the most horrible noise I can with my 38 broken guitars.

*rolls a 6*
you make a completely average bad noise. It's unpleasant, but not so bad they need to cover their ears.
*sighs*
for pete's sake, just murder them and stop trying to go the hippie route.

I roll to clap a beat.

*rolls natural 20*
Your enemies stamp along to the beat

I roll to sing Sing, Sing, Sing by Benny Goodman

*rolls a 12* Not the best rendition. They stop stamping and stare at you.

I roll to dip out on these guys

*Natural 20*
You yeet away

YEET

((Wow, even my fake rolls are shit compared to eveyone else's.

I'm just a good DM