He basically said that you aren’t attractive enough for him, or anyone else, to rape. considering that rape and violence against women more often have nothing to do with attractiveness and more to do with other factors of a twisted mind- he’s a real piece of shit. Regardless of the circumstances, being called unattractive can hurt. That doesn’t make you a bad person, just consider where the insult came from and don’t weight the opinion of a sack of shit very highly when reflecting on yourself. He’s a bad person, don’t let that make you feel worse about you.
Yes, but she also assumed that a complete stranger was a rapist, and I would be highly offended, personally, if someone just assumed I was a rapist just because we were walking down the same stretch of sidewalk.
if a guy walks behind you for a long time and then walks up behind you when you're trying to get into your house, it's absolutely ok to get ready to defend yourself. he could have taken the other side of the street or walk in front of her but no, he choose to be an asshole. and the "you're not pretty enough to get raped?" yeah, a kick in the cock would have been the correct answer to that.
Wait, so I'm supposed to cross to the other side of the road or walk faster, because a complete stranger thinks I might be a rapist? Fuck that noise. Yeah, the guy shouldn't have said that, but the woman isn't completely devoid of any guilt here.
I understand what y’all are saying- but check this out- what does a “rapist” look like? Google it. Most of the results you’ll see will look like average people, not monsters or creeps (some do look obviously creepy though...) but most look like a guy in your class, a nice neighbor, a boss or teacher. It’s not an insult to you to think you might be a rapist, there isn’t a dress code or a real strong “tell” for rapist. Secondly- take gender out of it. If you’re walking in a place you dont feel safe, alone, and unarmed, and you see someone you think is following you- go ahead and lie on the internet- but in your heart you know the truth- you aren’t going to maybe think they might be a mugger or something? You’re going to what? Wait for the guy in the hoodie who seems to be following you and is catching up to you, so you can have a pleasant conversation or see if they just pass you by or if they have a knife a need of your wallet?
It’s not that they think you ARE a rapist, or look like a rapist- it’s that you could be a rapist, and they are vulnerable, and the dangers of not acting cautiously are not outweighed by any benefit of the opposite. If we give the advice: “just assume no one is a rapist until you have concrete proof they are...” how would one prevent rape? And assuming you are minding your own business and have no interest in them, they don’t prevent you from doing anything, they aren’t telling people you’re a rapist, they aren’t actually impacting you, merely watching out for their safety. Imagine your mother or your sister, wife etc. and an unknown man is “following” them alone somewhere. Would you tell them to not make assumptions? Maybe wait and have a chat so that they don’t offend this man? Or would you tell them to get out of a potentially dangerous situation because you think he’s a big boy and can understand why she might react that way and know it isn’t a personal insult?
She followed a protective instinct against a potential threat. The guy, who chose to take offense to being perceived as threatening, degraded her further for her response. And just as society perpetuates female subservience, she wonders if she is in the wrong or if she is valid in being hurt by his calling her “too unattractive to be raped.”
The man could have not said anything or perhaps acknowledged her fear and introduced himself as a neighbor. Maybe he could have taken responsibility and apologized for the misunderstanding that led to her fear in the first place. She’s not calling him a rapist; she’s just looking out for her safety in a world that often puts women second. He is responsible for his actions in following closely, not backing off, and then being cruel toward her.
I really agree with the first part of this, and the last part. And thank you for it. I don’t know that he needs to apologize for her fear- it’s a little much to ask him to constantly be aware and never walk more than x meters behind a lone woman though. He’s just trying to get gone and although it would be astute and considerate to notice and realize her fear, and to give her distance, it’s somewhat unreasonable to expect him to just kill time waiting to enter his own hone until she’s “clear” and he can enter the communal property where he lives. He certainly could have not insulted her- given she knows nothing about him, and the benefit to not avoiding him is effectively nill, and the risk is huge- given that there isn’t a “rapist look” because moat rapists just look like regular, random people, and given that most men would likely want a loved one to do the same and get out of a situation where they feel unsafe and alone with a stranger... he’s a dick and needs to grow up.
The man could have not said anything or perhaps acknowledged her fear and introduced himself as a neighbor. Maybe he could have taken responsibility and apologized for the misunderstanding that led to her fear in the first place. She’s not calling him a rapist; she’s just looking out for her safety in a world that often puts women second. He is responsible for his actions in following closely, not backing off, and then being cruel toward her.