I believe up to a certain age you should check your kids history. And who they text and call. If you don't than it might be to late when you find out your kid is being forced to send nudes to an pervert adult.
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Edited 6 years ago
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· 6 years ago
imho you shouldn't give a child too soon a own computer / smartphone. but if your child is like 14 years and up, you shouldn't invade his / her privacy. think about when you was a child.. would you want that your parents know everything you google about? everything you look at? always where you have been (gps finder etc.)? know with which people you write? WHAT you write? no.. you would not want that.. or? it's one thing to give your child enough informations & teach them to don't do stuff like sending nudes to strangers, don't give private informations to strangers etc.. but another thing to spy on them because you don't trust them. you can teach them how to be safe on the internet etc. without spying on them. you need to have at least a little bit of trust into them.. if you don't have this & spy always on them 24/7.. you're a bad parent in my eyes.
1 I was 15 when googled started and we didn't have internet till I was 17 and I didn't have my own computer till I was 26 and married for 5 years.
2 Our daughter had a computer since she was 7 and only was able to go on the internet when she was 8 and still to this day can't do it unless one of us can see her screen at all times. She is 11. When she was 8 she was given an old phone with only apps. Now that she goes to a school where she rides a bus to get to school and home she has a real phone which we ask to see only who she texts and calls. What she text we don't care. Because she is a very trustworthy kid. She is like me growing up I never did anything to cause my parents to worry.
3 I agree no kid should from birth be given the internet but to say to not check thier stuff is like saying it is fine to drop them off in the center of New York and just say ok don't talk to strangers see you at home.
4 It is one thing to check over your kids stuff to make sure they are staying safe and not going to sites they are WAY to young for.
And another to go through their phone nitpicking over friends they talk to or what their friends say or even what your kid might say about you as a parent. That is none of a parents right to go over. Or bring up.
Only bring up thst if they are bulling another kid.
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· 6 years ago
there are parents who read EVERY text their child write, who try to control with which other childrens he communicate / play, who gps track them to 24/7 know where they are, who installing trojaner malware on the smartphone and computer of their child to always have 100% of the control of what they do, who always want to know about what their child talks with other children.. basicly.. parents who don't give their childs enough space.if you always control what your child does.. and always try to control what they do.. they never learn independence. they always fear because hey.. their parents could know that they wrote something to someone which the parents don't like. it's just not okay to do that as a parent if you ask me. you should be able to talk with your child about such stuff without spying. you can just ask them "what you do on the internet" or something like that.. you can teach them stuff and tell them about dangerous stuff they should not do etc..
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· 6 years ago
i mean.. it's one thing to install a porn filter as an example on the computer.. but spying each website your child is visiting.. each google term they put into the search bar.. each message they send.. that's just bad. really bad.you shouldn't do that. no one needs helicopter parents.. you harm your child by such stuff... they live in fear of their own parents. maybe they even get yelled at because the "bad thing they did again"(texing about something with their friends as an example).. it's just.. a no go.
I don't have kids, but if I did, I'd be spying on them ALL the time. I know what I did as a kid... now with social media? Jesus that might ruin my kid's life before it really begins.
Most shit I would let slide as well... like calling each other names, talking about sex, etc... that's all part of growing up. It's something like planning a fight or pranking a teacher in a potentially dangerous way where my line would be drawn and I'd intervene.
Yes, I'd let a non-threatening prank go; especially if I also knew the teacher deserved it... because sometimes they really do.
I agree with @cycy and @mrscollector, because as someone with helicopter parents (and now being a sorta-adult, turning 24 soon) I must admit, helicopter parenting did more damage than good. My brother turned out a sadist and rebel, and I never learnt to talk to people, didn't make friends, and as I had nobody to talk to, I was at my third suicide attempt and a very obvious face bruise before my parents realised I had problems (drinking, abusing painkillers, deep-rooted aggression and frustration, and the start of an eating disorder) and only because my mother-in-law convinced me to talk to them, as their opression and refusal to believe I had problems caused most of the problems. I just became good at hiding everything, I never had diaries because my mother would read them and critique or pry about everything, I never had friends friends (not classmates, those don't count), as they were disapproved of (despite being normal children) I had one sleepover ever, and the list goes on...
I didn't NEED the internet "to be inspired by their depression and eating disorders" I was perfectly capable of developing them on my own without outer influence. In fact, had I had friends or the Internet, I might've had help sooner and realised that, amongst others, them telling you every day "look at how fat you are getting" despite being underweight, is not healthy.
Trust me never delete the full history it looks suspicious. Only delete the parts that you don't want others to see.
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Edited 6 years ago
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· 6 years ago
or just use a portable browser on a usb stick with his own history which never lands on the computer harddrive itself. after browsing, just unplug the usb stick.. done. no traces.
@internet not every website works 100% correct with incognito mode.
@mrscollector yes, everyone this days should have the ability to do that. you can even use a smartphone or an old psp flat as an alternative to a usb stick.. there are tons of memory you could use in devices this days
2 Our daughter had a computer since she was 7 and only was able to go on the internet when she was 8 and still to this day can't do it unless one of us can see her screen at all times. She is 11. When she was 8 she was given an old phone with only apps. Now that she goes to a school where she rides a bus to get to school and home she has a real phone which we ask to see only who she texts and calls. What she text we don't care. Because she is a very trustworthy kid. She is like me growing up I never did anything to cause my parents to worry.
3 I agree no kid should from birth be given the internet but to say to not check thier stuff is like saying it is fine to drop them off in the center of New York and just say ok don't talk to strangers see you at home.
And another to go through their phone nitpicking over friends they talk to or what their friends say or even what your kid might say about you as a parent. That is none of a parents right to go over. Or bring up.
Only bring up thst if they are bulling another kid.
Most shit I would let slide as well... like calling each other names, talking about sex, etc... that's all part of growing up. It's something like planning a fight or pranking a teacher in a potentially dangerous way where my line would be drawn and I'd intervene.
Yes, I'd let a non-threatening prank go; especially if I also knew the teacher deserved it... because sometimes they really do.
@mrscollector yes, everyone this days should have the ability to do that. you can even use a smartphone or an old psp flat as an alternative to a usb stick.. there are tons of memory you could use in devices this days