Settling for Yale

I get it. I understand that humility and gratitude are virtues. But who isn’t guilty of this? “I wanted Coke but had to settle with Pepsi.” “How do I get over being rejected by my dream job?” “The store or eatery was closed so I had to go one I like less..”Things like this are human disappointments- but someone somewhere would hear that and they have so little that to them it would sound like you were complaining about “having to go to Yale.” It's relative. Someone is complaining their spouse didn’t take out the garbage. Do you tell your partner “just be grateful you are married at all!” They are grateful. There are people who’s spouse is dead. They’d love to be mad at them one more time just to have even that moment with them. There are people who are depressed they can’t seem to find someone to love them. You can be disappointed you didn’t get what you wanted but still be happy for what you have. Just because your lottery ticket didn’t win doesn’t mean you hate your life, just...

... because now you can’t buy your dream car doesn’t mean you think your car is a total POS and you’ll light it on fire. That said- yes. Her phrasing implies entitlement and “humble bragging.” It’s likely she just wants to show off that she gets thrown out of places others dream of even qualifying for, that she sees an o y league school as settling. But we don’t know that was her intent. She may be disappointed and genuinely asking others who can relate to cope. Some people do have money, some people have nearly limitless options. I’m sure the Queen would be upset if she wanted to meet the whole MCU cast and only got to meet Hawkeye, but most people would pay money just for a picture with agent Coulson. She should “deal” with “settling” like anyone, making the best of a situation. But Most people who want to be the best at anything don’t get there by “being zen” about setbacks. It’s not in their natures usually. Most are very driven and used to getting their way or making their way.

The fact that some of us have to deal with disappointments or not getting our ways more and so have more practice at is doesn’t make us better or worse. The fact that she sees an Ivy League school second choice isn’t much different than a kid being given an old bucket car or an iPhone 4g and wanting something newer and better but still knowing it’s better than nothing, and that’s no different than you or I being disappointed that the restaurant ran out of our favorite meal and we had to get second choice when someone else is starving. So she probably needs to work on herself- we all do really, but not only is she undeserving of contempt, not only is it hypocritical for almost anyone who can read this to criticize, but it’s not constructive. Meeting such ignorance with anger and rage doesn’t do anything. It doesn’t make a person want to hear what you are saying even if it is valid, and so it is counterproductive to helping her change or grow.