You don’t have to be at least 5’11” or be somewhat attractive, and you can literally have acid thrown on your face and find a partner. Looks help, money helps, social status, etc. all of it helps. But it also harms. How many women do you think throw themselves at Chris Evans, Edris Elba, Bill gates even? Now- how many do you think genuinely love who they are? How many would still be there without the fame, money, or in 2/3 cases- looks? Still some likely. But that’s not the point. The point is that while these “tools” can help you get partners- they won’t necessarily help you get the right partner. They may even make it harder. Be the best you that you can be. Love and care for yourself physically, mentally, financially. Learn, grow, do- and change. Not change who you are to find love, but change into who you want to be and you’ll find the person who fits that life. If what you’re doing isn’t working- find passions and potential you didn’t know you had. Height... people talk about...
... height, but they talk about physique, abs, flat bellies, boobs and booties, cars and clothes, hair and houses. You don’t NEED any of that and if you do NEED it to get with a certain person- they probably aren’t a good person to be with. Everyone has preferences. Most people aren’t “perfect” to what you have in your head- but the right partner causes you to redefine perfect based on them. You may like Brown or Green eyes but your “perfect” partner may have blue or hazel. You may drool over the Rocks muscles but love going home to a man who looks more like Hopper from stranger things. Be you, be confident in who you are and comfortable in your skin. Get over what you see as short comings and others likely will too. Or they won’t in which case- fuck em anyway. Move on. 7.5 billion and growing. That’s better odds than lottery and people win that everyday.
Here's a hard to swallow pill: Girls might like you more if you spent less time sharing "tfw no gf" memes and started working inward to make yourself an actual person they can enrich their lives with instead of someone that feels they need a girlfriend to have a fulfilling life that they need to workshop a bit. You don't get a girlfriend to make your life fulfilling, you get a girlfriend because you've met someone who enriches the experience of living. If you're depressed or whatever, getting a girlfriend will only make it worse because you're going to spend a lot of time wondering why you're still depressed, then you'll take it out on her, then the relationship will end and you'll wonder what went wrong.
Before someone says it, I know this is a general statement that isn't 100% applicable to everyone but I'm sick of seeing guys weeping on the internet because they feel like they NEED a girlfriend to make their lives worth something. Find yourself before looking for someone else.
I think- as a general statement- these are wise words. One thing I’d like to express which I feel you may have meant but truncated for brevity- but I don’t want to put words in your mouth: (speaking generally) If you’re fixated on getting a partner you might actually suddenly become happy when you have one. You won’t feel that sense of something missing, you’ll feel wanted and loved.... for a while at least. But- humans get used to things. There’s always a want, and those feelings that made you so fixated on finding a partner? They’ll be back in other ways. As you say mayflower- you’ll likely end up depressed again. Either because a hole within us ant be filled by something outside us, or when the reality of a person or relationship start to not live up to what was in your head. Possibly worse- you may convince yourself you are happy, while being in an unhealthy relationship, because you’ve built so much value into it that you won’t walk away when you should. So in general- I agree.
Happiness is inside us, external factors can make it easier or more difficult, but ultimately we control how we react to the world. If you can’t be happy alone, you need to figure out how, because even if you’re fine to bring someone else into that and tie their life and happiness to you, one way or another we are all alone eventually. You can take all the pills you want to deal with the pain from a splinter, but that pain and the issue will still be there. Eventually the self medication wears off, or you start to get desensitized to it, and you suddenly feel that pain again but have no mechanism to deal with it. So even if it hurts to pull the splinter out- it’s better to just do that in the long run and deal with the pain now so you can enjoy yourself later and not need a crutch.
Before someone says it, I know this is a general statement that isn't 100% applicable to everyone but I'm sick of seeing guys weeping on the internet because they feel like they NEED a girlfriend to make their lives worth something. Find yourself before looking for someone else.