*gasps*
Is that why I never demand Bobs and Vagene from white women?
*double gasp*
It was inside me the whole time!!!
@mialinay, it's cool. I don't want to stay in any confined space of a German. (please do not get offended, just trying to banter)
Edit: Spelling of women.
Lol I just now saw your comment in the chat asking for some racist humor so I guess I delivered :D
And my closet is not that bad. It even smells good. Take a deep breath. Oops, smells like gas huh? My bad!
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· 5 years ago
Aha.
Smells good eh, well not for long, since I am in there.
Ah, some ancestral tricks you got going on there.
We want to know how to survive a serial killer because being a white woman, we are, by statistics, the most common victim of a serial killer. It's sad but I actually watch shows like that to understand better how to deter and escape an attack or attempted abduction. Being a woman really sucks
On the one hand I try to learn things from them. On the other hand, I've realized that if I let myself get too involved in them then I'll literally never open the door for anyone ever...
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Still, the lengths some people will go to to trap someone is insane. The crying baby thing always disturbed me a great deal
Personally, I'm already at that point, literally, due to PTSD from being assaulted in my own apartment, so I honestly can't get much worse. If it wasn't for my daughter being in the house I'd have an entire arsenal of weapons, but she's too adept at getting into things. Instead I make due with a very intimidating (at least in sound and appearance) pitbull and about 2 hours sleep a night.
I haven't! Oh well except if you count that creepy stalker my mum and I had for a few weeks, staring into our bedrooms and whispering stuff until the cops chased him down.
I would, too. And @xvarnah, it is a terrifying large statistic of women that have been assaulted. According to RAINN, one in THREE girls under the age of eighteen has been sexually abused in her life. Isn't that horrific? That means if you know three women, chances are at least one of them has been sexually abused or assaulted. And I know you are well aware of my story (thank you for everything you've said!) {And to those who don't know; I was raped by my best friend's dad when I was very small. And also at other times, by other people...} Even our own president doesn't care and actively encourages assaulting women. Thankfully most men hate it, too. All we can do is stick together, believe out victims, and never let them take us alive. Viva la resistance!
@sunflowers I knew that statistic, which is a horrifying one, it just hit me suddenly that almost every single female user I've talked to on here has been rather aggressively physically assaulted. It seems closer to 6 out of every 7 on this website. I was expecting some, but not like 80% of the female userbase, but everyday it seems like one more comes forward.. Which in a way is good because it means we're learning to talk more about it, but it's also horrifying. I've experienced some aggressive male advances but nothing on par with most of the stories here, including your own
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Also, don't even get me started on that scumbag's treatment of women.
:( It really is awful. I try not to think about it too much honestly. It makes me want to hurt myself and I don't want to feel that way anymore. I have only heard two stories, my own and @mialinay's for some reason. I think people just flock to you and @parisqeen because you are gentle, motherly figures and we feel safe around you. And I have had dreams about confronting this certain dictator that always end with me waking up refreshed and relieved. Regardless it is so terrible that we have to have this discussion at all.
@sunflowers I feel you, this is horrible. And the numbers are really alarming. And just imagine, there's also many women and girls who don't even talk about it. Or feel like it wasn't even that bad. Like me. Because now that I come to think of it, I remember one of my mum's ex boyfriends insisted on sleeping with me when I was 15. I never really told anyone and even kinda forgot.
It is awful and although the statistics are high, they used to be much much higher. To think even around 10-20 years ago, it was normal to be assaulted and harassed and if you read old classical books it's considered the norm back then to rape women and then just expect them to get on with it. The world is evolving and we're learning so much about the effects of trauma on children/adults and how to better educate people on this so these statistics keep going down. The fact you all feel safe enough to share your stories on here is adding to these stats going down, if we can spread awareness and encourage others to not just share but also to seek help and start becoming more confident in themselves and making their lives more about them then just their experience, things with get better.
I did a lot of work with a local rape crisis center a few years after it happened, and you would not believe how many victims not only hadn't gone to the police, but felt it was their fault, in some cases because the only people they had told had told them it was, even if the only thing they did was dare to walk alone. The piece of shit who attacked me said I was asking for it because I would walk around wearing shorts amd tank tops, IN THE SUMMER IN THE SOUTH. He also claimed he was doing me a FAVOR because no guy would go out with a girl who didn't put out on the first date. Seriously. I am one of the few lucky ones. I put him away for the rest of his life.
I'm not sure how to say this without it sounding like Im diminishing anyone's experiences, so hopefully everyone understands what I mean when I say: I've encountered a lot of women who have been harassed, sometimes very aggressively (threats of rape or even forced smack on the ass). And I guess that was more the level I would have been expecting to encounter with this degree of frequency. But almost every story I've seen on here is very extreme and very intense. Even Mia's, despite not being actual physical assault (or at least that's the impression I got-- don't feel obliged to elaborate) sounds very intense. Admittedly the user base has shrunk a lot lately, but nevertheless.
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@sunflowers I dearly hope this chain hasn't upset you too much. That was definitely the last intent I had. I agree, though, that sometimes the sheer numbers and stories can feel so very overwhelming and depressing. Which makes talking about it... and finding things that give us hope is even more important
Channel our inner bumblebeees!
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Haha I do think you're the first person to ever describe me as motherly. Not that I consider that a bad thing. I'm far colder in person I imagine (I'm actually decently introverted), but online I'm more comfortable so I try, (as I know you do) to offer help when I feel I'm capable. Tbh I've had multiple occasions where I've been talking to someone about something like this and I think about tagging you but then I think "okay, she probably could help, but that doesn't mean she needs to be dragged through something like this just because she had an experience herself -_-" and then I'm not sure if the person talking would be comfortable anyway so it becomes a bit moot. Im not sure what my point with this was other than I think you're good at helping people as well.
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I've never been quite so tempted to get some inception-esque technology to allow me to partake in someone else's dreams.
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^FYI that sounded less creepy in my head, but most things usually do
@mialinay I just don't even understand your mom allowing that. I don't know your situation so I'm not going to jump out and say anything on that vein, but it's highly disturbing that something like that was allowed to occur. And if noone actually bothered to point out to you that anything was wrong it makes sense you might suppress or just not think about the situation, though. Im certainly not trying to make you feel victimized or anything BTW. I'm glad the situation didn't escalate further at any rate
@celticrose your story seems sadly common. I don't understand how society decided that sexuality is something women have that imposes uncontrollable impulses on men, and the results are always our fault. This is part of what makes false accusations (as few as they are) so goddamn devastating because, there could be a million true rape cases, but all it takes is one for people to start screaming "they're all lying!"
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Tbh half the time I wonder if consent shouldn't be something more thoroughly taught in schools
@xvarnah my mother didn't know anything about it and I didn't tell her. She's the most loving person and I somehow didn't want to upset or shock her. I know how stupid that sounds, but it was just want went on in my teenage brain. And it's been 8 years so I don't know if there's still any point in telling her.
@xvarnah, I was his third convicted offense, hince the life sentence, his first was his own 12 year old daughter, so in all honesty they don't really need an excuse because they feel they are entitled to use others however they want. There is a degree of societal influence in many cases, but in cases of the violent, brutal rapes and pedophilia (I was not underage but he didn't have a specific preference) their brains are literally wired differently than rational humans. But also consider the fact that there exists a somewhat popular saying "if there's grass on the field, its fare to play" and all the implications of that gem. As I said, I'm lucky, and this is going to sound horrible, because my assault was so violent that given the number of injuries the judge basically laughed in his lawyers face when they tried to claim it was concentual. A lot of victims get disregarded because their assault wasn't violent enough to fit preconceived narrow concept of assault
@mialinay absolutely you should talk to her about it, even given the time that has passed, and for SO MANY reasons. She needs to know, as a mother, what happened, but also YOU need to get it out. You cannot bottle this poison up because it WILL fuck with you. I suffered severe symptoms of PTSD and didn't tell my mom for the same reasons, I didn't want to worry her. I was having blackout where I would be in my apartment then suddenly I was somewhere else, on the bus, in a store, walking on the sidewalk, and had no clue how I got there. I didn't tell her until it got so bad that I tried to walk out of a store with stuff in a basket without paying, and I didn't even remember leaving my home. It is so much better to just get it out, because it can act like a cancer, eating away at you from inside without you even realizing it until its too late.
@mialinay I agree with Celtic that it's probably worth talking to her about it, although it's whatever you're personally comfortable with.
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@celticrose I wasn't saying that society is to blame for rapists behaviour, I was saying society's response to rape is to blame the victim because clearly they must have done something to provoke the assailant, or not done enough to get away, so therefore it's their fault
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It's a very twisted world we live in where being more brutally assaulted has a better chance of getting justice
@celticrose@mialinay@xvarnah
You three are lovely. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and I am so sorry that we are all so painfully familiar with such a gruesome and biased subject. And xvarnah, thank you for caring about me especially; somedays thinking about it hurts less than other days and I think it's because I feel strong talking about it. There's strength in numbers and peace of mind. I wish all three of you luck and I'm so pleased that you wished to talk to me!
(I'm sorry I swear I'm not racist)
Is that why I never demand Bobs and Vagene from white women?
*double gasp*
It was inside me the whole time!!!
@mialinay, it's cool. I don't want to stay in any confined space of a German. (please do not get offended, just trying to banter)
Edit: Spelling of women.
And my closet is not that bad. It even smells good. Take a deep breath. Oops, smells like gas huh? My bad!
Smells good eh, well not for long, since I am in there.
Ah, some ancestral tricks you got going on there.
'
Still, the lengths some people will go to to trap someone is insane. The crying baby thing always disturbed me a great deal
'
Also, don't even get me started on that scumbag's treatment of women.
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@sunflowers I dearly hope this chain hasn't upset you too much. That was definitely the last intent I had. I agree, though, that sometimes the sheer numbers and stories can feel so very overwhelming and depressing. Which makes talking about it... and finding things that give us hope is even more important
'
Haha I do think you're the first person to ever describe me as motherly. Not that I consider that a bad thing. I'm far colder in person I imagine (I'm actually decently introverted), but online I'm more comfortable so I try, (as I know you do) to offer help when I feel I'm capable. Tbh I've had multiple occasions where I've been talking to someone about something like this and I think about tagging you but then I think "okay, she probably could help, but that doesn't mean she needs to be dragged through something like this just because she had an experience herself -_-" and then I'm not sure if the person talking would be comfortable anyway so it becomes a bit moot. Im not sure what my point with this was other than I think you're good at helping people as well.
'
I've never been quite so tempted to get some inception-esque technology to allow me to partake in someone else's dreams.
'
^FYI that sounded less creepy in my head, but most things usually do
'
Tbh half the time I wonder if consent shouldn't be something more thoroughly taught in schools
'
@celticrose I wasn't saying that society is to blame for rapists behaviour, I was saying society's response to rape is to blame the victim because clearly they must have done something to provoke the assailant, or not done enough to get away, so therefore it's their fault
'
It's a very twisted world we live in where being more brutally assaulted has a better chance of getting justice
You three are lovely. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and I am so sorry that we are all so painfully familiar with such a gruesome and biased subject. And xvarnah, thank you for caring about me especially; somedays thinking about it hurts less than other days and I think it's because I feel strong talking about it. There's strength in numbers and peace of mind. I wish all three of you luck and I'm so pleased that you wished to talk to me!